Trump's voting fraud hotline has, to nobody's surprise, become a prankster's paradise

By Reid McCarter  |  November 9, 2020 | 3:45pm
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Trump's voting fraud hotline has, to nobody's surprise, become a prankster's paradise
Photo: The Washington Post

Donald Trump, to everyone’s complete surprise, is not conceding defeat gracefully. In a process that’s sure to continue for months and, Christ, likely even years to come, Trump and pals have been banging the voter fraud drum and encouraging people to call into a hotline to report instances of voter suppression (the kind the GOP doesn’t like) and irregularities.

Incredibly, the hotline has not been used for its intended purpose and has instead been jammed up by a bunch of jokers making prank calls instead.

We already covered Gravity Falls’ Alex Hirsch doing his part to supply helpful tips regarding noted Antifa member, The Hamburglar last Friday, but the calls haven’t stopped coming in the time since.

Samer Kalaf, a “huge patriot,” let the hotline know that many of the prank calls are “coming from Eric Trump’s humongous fanny” while Christopher Miller informed the “war room” that he saw a zombie announce that it had returned from the dead to “feast on the brains of the living and also vote for Joe Biden.”

Erica/@herosnvrdie69 did her civic duty by explaining at length how she committed voter fraud, arguing that it was only right to vote for Trump more than once to show her support for the cause.

Talia Lavin called in to describe how she was intimidated by “the raw sensual grace” of “an Antifa” at the polls, leading her to go home and “[engage] in furious acts of onanism” instead of voting for Trump. Jeff Pearlman decided to share the premise of Diff’rent Strokes, in case that would help protect democracy. And Mike C. got straight to the point by just playing The Price Is Right’s loser horn sound before hanging up.

Incredibly, these kind of calls haven’t resulted in the hotline being shut down. Eric Trump has instead tweeted that the DNC is “spamming our voter fraud hotline to bog down the thousands of complaints we are receiving!” and his wife, Lara has tried to chastise pranksters by writing that it’s “shameful [they] don’t think it’s important to have integrity in our elections.”

We couldn’t agree more. The voices of the people must be known and the voter fraud call center seems to be a great place to direct your thoughts. Here’s the current hotline number. In the words of Lara Trump herself, “Keep spamming.”

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