Expanding his unflinching social commentary beyond Main Street all the way to Wall Street, Tyler Perry has revealed that the next Madea movie will find Tyler Perry’s blubbery sass-banshee coming face to face with one of those awful Ponzi schemers—a face which she will then presumably slap some ever-lovin’ sense into, perhaps using a kitchen accoutrement, thus restoring a sense of dignity to those frustrated by our continued economic disparity. Lionsgate sent out a press release announcing Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection—the 14th collaboration between the studio and Tyler Perry in seven years, and approximately the 10,000th instance in that time period in which Tyler Perry will don a dress and screech about something of sociopolitical import. This time it’s the unwanted invasion of a New York City-slicker financier played by Eugene Levy, whose cooperation with the FBI lands him in “the one place that absolutely no one will think to look for them”: a Madea movie, because that is plainly ridiculous.
But then, such are the leaps of faith required to contrive the timely confrontation between the 1 percent represented by Levy, his trophy wife Denise Richards, and business associate Tom Arnold, and the 99 percent that is Madea and something something occupy 99 percent of her foot up his ass. Or, to put it in Tyler Perry’s terms, the press release also offers this Tyler Perry quote from Tyler Perry, who put on his wig and nightgown to write in character as Tyler Perry’s Madea: “Auh hell, now they want me to work with these white folks. Next thing you know they will be asking me to go on Dancing With The Stars. I need to talk to my agent." And yes, the philosophical conundrum caused by implying Madea is a real person who is also a celebrity aware that she’s starring in movies has yet to be addressed, at least not until Tyler Perry makes Madea Confronts The Mise En Abyme, Then Shoots At It With The Big-Ass Gun She Keeps In Her Purse.