War is coming? No, war is here on Game Of Thrones 

Metalocalypse (Cartoon Network, 12:15 a.m.): Tell-all books tend to come out after a band has broken up. However, the members of Dethklok don’t play by anyone’s rules, let alone the publishing industry’s, so Tolki’s wasted no time in penning a takedown of Skwisgaar. Phil Dyess-Nugent is collecting numerous humiliating anecdotes for his TV Club tell-all, release date TBD.

Doctor Who (Classic) (11 a.m.): Containing shades of V (and a little bit of Independence Day, eventually), the serial “The Claws Of Axos” finds a seemingly benevolent extraterrestrial force offering the Earth a molecule that can replicate any substance—or so it claims. If Christopher Bahn had control of such a molecule, he’d use it to create a doppelgänger who could file Doctor Who reviews over long weekends.

The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): Bart falls for the girl next door—voiced by ultra-timely guest Sara “Darlene Conner” Gilbert—before discovering she’s going steady with Jimbo Jones. He’ll have to wait 20-odd years to exact his revenge, a show of patience which Nathan Rabin applauds.

The Bob Newhart Show (Hallmark Channel, 10 a.m.): [Phone rings.] Hello? Why, yes, we’d love a full day of Bob Newhart Show reruns. We’ll have to kick off around 9 p.m. because there’s that whole “Battle of the Blackwater” deal on Game Of Thrones. That’ll only set us up to miss an hour of droll action in a Chicago psychologist’s office? Then count us in!

Extreme Terror Rides (Travel, 6 p.m.): The unofficial beginning of summer means the annual arrival of Travel Channel’s glut of roller-coaster documentaries/stealth infomercials for the nation’s amusement parks. Put a safe distance between yourself and any device that can search for plane tickets while watching these terrifying wonders of thrill-ride engineering.

Harry’s Law (NBC, 9 p.m.): Before David E. Kelley can move on to the Portland hospital he’s building with Sanjay Gupta (might we suggest they put a bird on it?) Harry Korn must grieve for her ex-husband and defend a man suspected of killing his wife. With such elegantly and subtly deployed thematic parallels like those, how is it that this show wasn’t renewed?

Mermaids: The Body Found (Animal Planet, 9 p.m.): Welp, that title pretty much says it all: Mermaids exist, there’s a body to prove it—good work, science, you’ve done it again! But here’s two hours of evidence and theories of a coverup to convert the non-believers in the audience.

Son-In-Law (CMT, 4 p.m.): Assuming its viewers have officially unplugged their brains for three days, Country Music Television presents a Sunday Pauly Shore marathon, beginning with the fish-out-of-water comedy most in line with the network’s regular programming. Spending the afternoon basking in the disappointed glower of Lane Smith.

The Empire Strikes Back (Spike, 4:41 p.m.): In a holiday marathon that’s less concerned with completism, Spike is showing the “special edition” cuts of the second and third films in the Star Wars series all day without the opening chapter. And it’s still the opening chapter because that’s how they were released, goddamnit!

Indianapolis 500: The 96th running (ABC, noon): The so-called “greatest spectacle in racing” (take that, 24 Hours of Le Mans) is a Memorial Day-weekend tradition, like yelling at your in-laws about the proper way to light a grill or shotgunning a trio of Pauly Shore movies. Enjoy this most American of rituals before watching cars go around in circles loses its thrill—you know, like around the ninth or 10th lap.

Angel/The Adventures Of Pete And Pete (Friday): A pair of TV Club Classic favorites called it a day this week: Noel Murray went to work on the Angel finale, while Marah Eakin spent an eventful Saturday in Wellsville. But fret not: There’s a fresh batch of new favorites waiting for you on the other side of the weekend.