As clearly established when the music video for Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” shows Mark Metcalf being blown backward through his son’s bedroom window, the sound of a crunchy rock ‘n’ roll riff packs incredible power. As a woman who recently scared off a cougar to the sound of Metallica’s “Don’t Tread On Me” shows, this effect isn’t limited to killjoy dads or humans in general either. Even a wild beast must submit to the growls of nature’s true apex predator, James Hetfield.
As reported by Kelowna Now’s Savannah Bagshaw, Dee Gallant was taking her dog Murphy for a walk “just outside of Duncan,” a small city on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, when she spotted a cougar watching them. Gallant yelled and waved her arms and the cat “froze like a statue,” but kept “its eyes fixated on her and Murphy.” Despite continuing to yell at it, Gallant says the cougar “just stayed locked on to me and seemed really interested.” As a short video she filmed shows, not even her calling it “bad kitty” and “you little bastard” or threatening “I’ll fight you” scared it off.
“So that is when I decided to stop recording and try to do something else,” she continues.
Gallant scrolled through her phone for “the noisiest” music she had available and landed on “Don’t Tread One Me,” which she thought would scare the animal while also getting across the message she “wanted to convey to the cougar.” It worked, and “as soon as the first notes blared out it ran into the bush.”
Animal experts may tell you that the cougar was startled by the sudden, strange sounds that came from Gallant’s phone, but don’t believe everything they say. Cougars, as we all know, have the most discerning musical taste of the big cats and simply understand that the goofy, patriotic “Don’t Tread On Me” is one of the worst Metallica tracks. It leaving is both a sign of distaste for the song and, perhaps, a refusal to sully its furry, Canadian cougar ears with Hetfield’s celebration of the American military spirit.
[via Exclaim!]
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com
