Bill Mitchell is one of the most relentlessly ownable pundits in the modern political landscape, a pro-Trump prognosticator that fires off half-baked facts and anecdotal analyses that he will defend to the fucking death against anyone who pops up in his mentions. Charlie Warzel of Buzzfeed once memorably described him as “a kind of post-truth, post-math Nate Silver.” As an early and ardent Trumpist, Mitchell was, as you may have expected, a big Roy Moore guy—he’s got a type, alright!—and so he has not taken well to Moore’s loss this week. But if Moore’s not giving up, neither is Mitchell, which led to an inimitably Mitchellian take:
Thoughtful stuff from a true master of Twitter conversation-starting. As the ratio may imply, this groundbreaking bit of reportage led to a voluminous response, and, while the whole thing can be picked apart much more specifically, it also doesn’t really need to, because it is, on its surface, an idiotic claim, as Mitchell himself almost seems to tacitly accept with the “just reporting the rumor” addendum. (Thank god for 240 characters!)
Anyway, it’s all really worth it for the sardonic responses from voters eager to pop in and work with Mitchell on his level.
The entire saga forms a nice microcosm of Mitchell’s entire online existence: Earnestly providing a basketball and a trampoline to literally everyone left of center and then standing under a hoop eating an ice cream sundae while wearing a placard that says “please don’t dunk on me.” You will recall pre-election punditry like this:
As well as, more recently, a long string of interactions with Seth Rogen.
We look forward to him predicting riotous Republican success in the 2018 elections because he saw a dog wearing a red sweater.