100 episodes of Betty White being hot in front of a live studio audience

What else is on?

Big Brother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Tonight, the Power of Veto competition takes place, and that really does sound about as ominous as a competition on a reality show titled Big Brother should.

America’s Got Talent (NBC, 9 p.m.): All television show titles should be taken literally, so it remains to be seen if America does really got talent. Six acts advance tonight, but do they really got talent? Do they? According to America’s Got Talent, they must.

Legends (TNT, 9 p.m.): Legends has been on for two weeks, and Martin Odum is still alive, proving himself to be invulnerable to all tired jokes about how Sean Bean dies in everything. Week three promises to bring more of the same.

Love Thy Neighbor (OWN, 9 p.m.): This week, “Linda wakes up in Philip’s bed and feels shocked,” which can only mean one thing: The premise of Love Thy Neighbor (as guessed from the title and nothing else) has been fulfilled. Thy neighbor has been loved, and all 49 episodes before this have led up to said love. Thank you, Tyler Perry. Thank you, Oprah.

Wahlburgers (A&E, 10 p.m.): In this week’s Wahlburgers, “Donnie enlists Johnny and Henry to paint a shed in his backyard.” Meanwhile, the burgers remain cold and lonely. Lonely and cold. “The hamburgers are cold, and so am I,” says Mark, on a plane ride to his latest movie premiere. Jenny McCarthy wonders how things became so different. How could they all lose sight of what really matters in this season of Wahlburgers? How?

Franklin & Bash (TNT, 10 p.m.): Mike Tyson and John Michael Higgins guest star on this week’s episode of Franklin & Bush, unintentionally forming the recipe for the buddy cop comedy the world never knew it needed. And not just a buddy cop comedy—the buddy cop comedy to end all buddy cop comedies. Seriously, the genre will just cease to exist once loose cannon Mike Tyson and by the books John Michael Higgins (or better yet, by the books Mike Tyson and loose cannon John Michael Higgins) team up in Team Up.

Girlfriend Intervention (Lifetime, 10 p.m.): Instead of being a show about bros who need to drop their buzzkill girlfriends, Lifetime is going in direction by having it be a show where four “experts” revitalize women’s lives with makeovers. So it’s more like an “ooh, girlfriend” intervention, you know? Lifetime assumes you know.

Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol (FX, 7 p.m.): How you rank the Mission: Impossible movies says a lot about the type of person you are. Especially if M:I 2 is your favorite. So if you’re in the mood for some Ghost Protes tonight, make sure you put some serious thought into this. It might be the last thing you ever do.

A Walk To Remember (ABC Family, 9 p.m.): Like most Nicholas Sparks movies, A Walk To Remember has everything. It has Mandy Moore, which is really all you need. It has Paz de la Huerta being practically unrecognizable. It made this music video exist:

U.S. Open Tennis: Early Round (ESPN 2, 6 p.m.): It’s day three of early round play, which means it’s not too late for you to drop your friends, quit your job, and live on gummi bears while you watch tennis—your only real friend, after all—for a couple of weeks and get sucked into the graceful power of the sport. Sure, your life will be in shambles afterward, but you’ll have seen nearly every second of the U.S. Open. That’s all that matters anymore.

MLB Baseball: Yankees at Tigers (ESPN, 7 p.m.): Who would win in a fight? A Yankee (as in the Civil War participant) or a tiger (as in the animal)? You probably won’t get the answer to that question while watching the game, but you might want to put serious thought into this one.

In case you missed it

30 Rock: Erik Adams takes a look back at “Jack The Writer” and “Jak-tor,” two episodes which—based on titles alone—make 30 Rock look like it was a show all about Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghy. And you know what? In some ways, maybe it was. But one of these episodes also has Liz in her “Dirty Diva” get-up, so I think we all know who the real boss was.