A new year means more than crowded gyms for a few weeks: All across the world, people are vowing to make 2011 the year they finally start a band. And when they do, they’ll need a name—and chances are, it’ll be inane. Every year, The A.V. Club sees thousands of band names, so we like to consider ourselves experts in noting the memorable ones. Like its predecessors, 2010 provided a bounty of silliness, forced toughness, and further testament to the unbreakable will of bands insisting on putting exclamation points or the word “funk” in their names. Behold!
"A solo project to explore the notions of depression through imagery and music. Hopefully to captivate a single chord that expresses the way we feel when we are abandoned and capsized by that subtle feeling of melancholy."
"In the beginning, there was the Big Fuckin Skull… When or where It came from is unknowable and doesn't matter, but it was no doubt a really mean and shitty time and place. You know; the kind of time and place capable of producing a killer skull the size of Texas, filled with fuckin hatred."
"If you’re looking for a real live sex toy or an interchangeable, faceless partner, rent one by the hour. Or you might try checking out swingers groups instead of poly groups, if sex is your primary goal. Unicorns are rare, and honestly, most of those you find in polyamorous groups are not interested in what you're offering."
Vaginas Vagiant It has since changed its name to the less memorable “Tijuana Sweetheart.” Bummer. Choice Cunts V.A.G. The Irish band’s name is short for “Very Angry Girls.” Sparklepussy Barbie
"Each phrase of their every song evokes within the listener stirring pangs of pleasure and intense spasms of euphoria. The formidable arsenal that is I Am Committing A Sin threatens a disturbance in the state of things, to the point of an epidemic, pestilence both degenerative and infectious."
"maintain your distance from the swamp-life. typically feeding by size, there is no difference between an ice cream cone, and a dripping yoni. burrito, and endowed phallus. your big hungry ass and a hummus platter. appetites are a force to be reckoned with. take it from us."
"Doom, sludge, and all things fucked up certainly play a role in this band, but an electronic, tripped out feel also encompasses their somber output, which evolves to a different plane with each passing song…Sit back, smoke up, and let yourself fall into Drug Honkey’s dark, dirty, and atmospheric mesh of sound."
You’re so tough! Arsenal Of Blasphemy “Needs shows anywhere!” proclaims its Myspace page, which has one of the best band bios ever. An excerpt:
"However, Arsenal is no band to fuck with because they will fuck right back and steal your hoes from you. With a new look and a new view, Arsenal has been working on being more professional by beginning to network and advertise and not only looking at it as a band but their own private business that needs to take off or their fucked. To sum it all up Arsenal is some normal dudes, playing brutal music, partying our asses off and getting the money, pussy and respect!"
"One lesbian couple that played guitars, sang and wrote music together. Another lesbian couple not five minutes away that played bass and drums, sang and wrote music together. The lesbi-gravitational pull was just too much to avoid."
“Begin by Gathering Supplies deliver an imaginative pastiche of dub-influenced rhythms, well placed, minimal bursts of electronica that range from the psychedelic to the muscular, spare but strikingly ambient guitar textures, earnest and, though never over-wrought, impassioned vocals, and socially conscious lyrics which are refreshing in their personal and prosaic, as opposed to didactic, content.”
“The band’s music is focused on alternative and progressive rock, with narrative story telling vocals that give you goose bumps every time you hear them. Featuring today’s rappers and special guest artists for a blend and twist of modern culture.”
