Al Goldstein Runs For President
Watch your back, Obama. Insisting that he's not joking, Screw magazine founder and prominent pornographer Al Goldstein announced his candidacy for president yesterday. Goldstein's platform is anti-war and pro-gay marriage, but he also promises to "remove the 'o' from country, provide daily government subsidized cunnilingus for women (and a damn good cigar for men), and try his famed tongue on Nancy's Pelosi."