It's almost fall, a season marked by changing leaves, chilly weather, and many, many superfluous ads reminding you to watch TV.
Here's a quick rundown of some ads for both new and returning TV shows, complete with alternate eye-catching taglines.
Actual Tagline: "Saving the world at $11 an hour."
Alternate Tagline: "It's shrug-tastic!"
Alternate Tagline 2: "Chuck: You can tell he's a geek by his pocket protector."
The millionth season of Desperate Housewives
Actual Tagline: "It's a hell of a day in the neighborhood."
Alternate Tagline: "These housewives are still hot. Get it? Because of the fire. And the photoshop."
Alternate Tagline 2: "Watch this show or we'll burn these characters. Finally."
Actual Tagline: "Watch the best part of your day."
Alternate Tagline: "Like televised Paxil, but much less effective for your crippling depression."
Alternate Tagline 2: "The one bright spot in that pathetic thing you call a life–with goofy dancing!"
Actual Tagline: "How long can they keep it up?"
Alternate Tagline: "Dudes. Innuendo about erections. That's pretty much it."
Alternate Tagline 2: "Two really big shots, one medium shot, and one tiny shot with glasses in the background."
The View with Whoopi
Actual Tagline: "We're Whoopin' it up!"
Alternate Tagline: "We all have Whoopi-ng cough, and it's highly contagious!
Alternate Tagline 2: "Your TV now comes with a Whoopi cushion! Wink wink."