(Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Andy Dick has a long history of sexual harassment and assault allegations (and probably a career in there somewhere, too), which makes the news that he’s been fired from the indie film Raising Buchanan for sexually harassing people on set not at all surprising. The Hollywood Reporter was unable to reach any of the alleged victims, but did get detailed information from two sources about Dick’s behavior, and it reads like every other previous incident. Dick reportedly engaged in “groping people’s genitals, unwanted kissing/licking and sexual propositions of at least four members of the production.” THR was unable to determine if the alleged victims are cast members or crew.

But the publication did track down Dick, whose response is part denial, part justification defense (see, he’s been through this before). So while the actor “vehemently denied” the groping (which is probably the first time he’s done that) he admitted he probably “licked people” as well as “[made] advances on others.” Dick’s comments only get worse from there—he tells THR that the Raising Buchanan filmmakers or studio “knew what they signed up for” in bringing him on because his “middle name is ‘misconduct.’”

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Then Dick fairly shrugs while describing his actions, which were just intended to either flatter people or make them laugh, which are the only two ways people respond to harassment, don’t you know:

I might have kissed somebody on the cheek to say goodbye and then licked them. That’s my thing—I licked Carrie Fisher at a roast. It’s me being funny. I’m not trying to sexually harass people.

Of course I’m going to proposition people. I’m single, depressed, lonely and trying to get a date. They can just say no, and they probably did and then I was done.

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Dick explains that while he’s given up his assaulting ways—even the flashing: “I don’t expose myself anymore”—he’s just an old-fashioned guy. He pleads ignorance in the ways of this crazy, smartphone-driven world, where women somehow don’t automatically become your girlfriends after you kiss or lick them, and propositioning co-workers with unwelcome words or actions is not only frowned upon, but a fireable offense. Jeepers!

I don’t know the difference between sexual harassment and trying to get a date. In the ‘70s, all the girlfriends I got was by kissing and licking their cheek. I don’t know anymore. There were beautiful women and beautiful guys on the set. I flirt with them. I might kiss someone on the set and ask them to go to dinner. They are the ones that took it south.

Seriously, have a sense of humor, crew or cast member of Raising Buchanan who was just trying to go about your day when Andy Dick licked your face. You should be flattered. Because if repercussions for harassment and assault continue, Dick tells THR “he will retire.” But you know, only if he gets in trouble on the set of one of a “slew of projects lined up.”

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