Armie Hammer; or, The Modern Sisyphus, is staging a comeback via Uwe Boll movies

Still, as gross as that sounds, he wouldn’t break a One Wish Willow and wish for a do-over. After seeing Obsession, a friend asked if he would undo everything that had happened to him. “Honestly, no,” he says over apple tart à la mode. “I remember the emotional state and the mental state I was in before all that happened. Healthy people don’t act the way I was acting. I would have loved it if I could have had an opportunity to do it in a little bit more of a gentle way. But at the end of the day, you get what you get.” 

It’s obviously difficult to take this redemption piece seriously when Hammer is chewing on steak frites and apple tart à la mode. In 2021, an ex-girlfriend accused him of raping her and of saying he’d like to cook and eat one of her ribs, which gave her PTSD. Another ex, Paige Lorenze, who was 22 when she started dating the 34-year-old and married Hammer, said he “branded her, purposefully left her covered in bruises, and talked about ‘consuming her.” 

“He wanted me to show them off and be proud of them,” she said at the time. “I said, ‘How am I supposed to see other people when I have bruises?’ He said, ‘That’s the point.’ I think it was a part of marking and branding.” 

Ironically, Hammer uses similar language in the interview. “I used to call myself a consumer,” he tells THR. “Drinks, women, validation, experiences — I just wanted to consume. All of it. More, more, more. I didn’t actually know how to give myself what I needed internally, so I relied on external sources. It’s like a black hole—no matter how much you throw in, it’s gone. You’re never going to fill up a black hole.” Now, he chalks his behavior up to “imposter syndrome,” which is really downplaying the accusations, but it’s his comeback. Hammer denied the allegations, and an LAPD investigation into them was opened but later closed without charges.