How does the American economy even work in 2016? No one seems totally sure, though there are plenty of wonky articles on the subject, for those who care to read such things. Anyone composing a 10,000-word think piece on the sharing economy, however, will have to contend with a ludicrous new development: Pooper, a subscription-based app that connects incredibly lazy dog owners with people willing to pick up dog poop. “Your dog’s poop in someone else’s hands,” goes the tragicomic slogan. So it’s come to this, has it? The name, one guesses, is meant to evoke Uber. Hey, as long as people are willing to schlep other people around in their cars, might as well have ’em scoop up canine feces as well. Pooper users can subscribe at a variety of levels, depending on how often their dogs shit. The thing’s already being beta-tested in Frisco, New York, and L.A.
Here, for the morbidly curious, is a Pooper promo. Watch it and either weep or rejoice for the American entrepreneurial spirit.
As ridiculous and disgusting as this is, there is some genuine pathos inherent in the Pooper business model. For the pet owners, this is yet another outrageous luxury in a world of outrageous luxuries. This app represents the joys of pet ownership minus the revulsion of poop. But the real intrigue here lies with the picker-uppers, the desperate people who come running when Pooper calls, their hands encased in plastic bags. What leads people to become designated Pooper agents? What kinds of lives must they be leading? There’s a webseries in this at least, maybe something for Netflix or even HBO. Call it Shit Pickers. Is William H. Macy available?
