What else is on?
King Of The Hill (Cartoon Network, 8:30 p.m.): We swear we don’t insist on mentioning every King Of The Hill rerun—hence why we’re not specifically highlighting 8 p.m.’s “Full Metal Dust Jacket,” which is good but not an all-time great—but we’ve got an all-time classic on the docket for 8:30: “Megalo Dale,” in which Arlen’s finest exterminator locks himself in the local Megalomart overnight to hunt that most dangerous of prey: smooth jazz legend Chuck Mangione.
Kennedy Center Honors (CBS, 9 p.m.): Stephen Colbert—who we guess is officially between gigs at the moment, which is just so damn weird—is on hand to host this year’s ceremony, which honors Al Green, Tom Hanks, ballerina Patricia McBride, Sting, and Lily Tomlin. We’re going to go ahead and guess Colbert’s monologue here will be slightly less cutting than the thermonuclear bomb he dropped at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Dinner. So if you’re looking for a particularly spurious argument for why the move to network television had made Colbert lose his edge, here you go!
Escaping Polygamy (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): For reasons unknown, Stephen Colbert will not be hosting this hopefully hard-hitting (but possibly just melodramatic and lurid, that’s certainly a possibility) look at survivors of polygamous families and their efforts to help others escape similar situations.
The Legend Of Mick Dodge (National Geographic, 9 p.m.): The third season kicks off in style, what with the raft excursions and dudes wearing mud instead of clothing and an all-important subplot in which the title character “heads to town when he gets a craving for a burger and shake.” Yeah, we don’t have the foggiest idea what this is about. Still, audacity points for kicking off a new season the day before New Year’s Eve, we guess.
The Family Man (WGN, 8 p.m.): And now another edition of “Huh, so the TV Guide listings thinks it’s a movie reviewer now, huh?” Our topic, the Nicolas Cage movie in which a lonely, heartless businessman wakes up married to the great lost love of his life. And TV Guide’s verdict: “Charming performances but schmaltzy.” Yeah, that’s probably fair.
Lionheart (Flix, 10:05 p.m.): So apparently this Jean-Claude Van Damme movie is not a biopic about Richard I, the crusader king, but rather tells the story of “deserter working an underground boxing circuit in the U.S.” We guess it’s possible he’ll turn out to be the immortal Richard the Lionheart in disguise or something, but we’re not holding out hope.
Music City Bowl: Notre Dame vs. LSU/Belk Bowl: Georgia vs. Louisville/Foster Farms Bowl: Maryland vs. Stanford (ESPN, 3 p.m./6:30 p.m./10 p.m.): It’s the last day of bowls before the really big-ticket matchups begin, and at least a couple of these should be good: LSU coach Les Miles’ brand of grass-fed craziness should work well against the perpetually irate Brian Kelly and the Fighting Irish, while Georgia’s star freshman running back Nick Chubb will try to do his thing against Louisville’s highly ranked rushing defense. The Maryland-Stanford game is a little less exciting, admittedly, but keep in mind this hilarious fact: Because of the ridiculousness of conference realignment, this could totally be a Rose Bowl someday!
In case you missed it
Mozart In The Jungle: No, seriously, everyone, that last episode was really something special! Let Vikram Murthi tell you all about it! (Sorry again for forgetting your show, Vikram!)
