Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, March 25 and Saturday, March 26. All times are Eastern.
Black Sails (Starz, 9 p.m., Saturday): Pirates! In the third-season finale, the British finally come for the pirates in force. Lots and lots o’ force—ships, cannons, planks, parrots, the whole deal—as the long-gathering pirate war finally explodes. Toby Stephens’ sunburnt antihero Captain Flint and Luke Arnold’s young and hunky Long John Silver (remember, this is a Treasure Island prequel) are ready to sail off into the sunset, no matter the outcome. Although they’ll be back, as this stealthy Starz hit has already been renewed for its fourth season. Pirates!
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 8 p.m., Friday): Ichabod looks to his relationship with Betsy Ross in his ongoing attempt to keep a lid on The Hidden One—who, frankly, is not proving as formidable a Big Bad as Zack Handlen had hoped when the guy first showed up.
Grimm (NBC, 9 p.m., Friday): Nick and Hank return from investigating a monster attack in the woods, only to find that some ancient monster disease is whipping through the streets of Portland, Oregon. Portland native Les Chappell swears he just has the sniffles and is not—repeat, not—about to sprout horns, or grow a tail or anything. Well, horns or no, he’s on hand to review this episode.
Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, 11 p.m., Friday): Childrens Hospital dives behind the scenes once again, and, once again, LaToya Ferguson marvels that the actors playing the doctors are actually more improbably, insanely funny than their characters.
Programming note, people. Starting Monday, look for your What’s On Tonight world to change—overnight! Now stay frosty—your favorite WOT correspondents are all still on board, we’re just slimming down and reorganizing, with an added emphasis on premieres, streaming content, and what’s coming back to the tee-vee (in addition to, you know, what’s on tonight).
Also, look for the feature later in the morning (rather than 1 a.m.) for your televisual edification and ongoing Jeopardy commentary. CORRECTION! A RARE CORRECTION! We’ve heard your cries, and the What’s On Tonight will stay right where it is, posting at midnight. See, we listen. Thanks to everyone who voiced their concerns about the time change—we love you, you late-night kooks, you.
In this week’s AVQ&A, your favorite AV Clubbers shake their heads ruefully in the direction of the question, “What perfect casting choices are ruined because the actor is question had the nerve to grow too old for the part?”
Tom Breihan’s A History Of Violence series is up to 1972, which means it’s time to glory in the spectacle of watching Bruce Lee beat the crap out of Chuck Norris. So, so satisfying.
Adam DeVine’s House Party (Comedy Central, 12:30 a.m., Friday): Devin Field, Langston Kerman and Jenny Zigrino perform standup while Workaholics’ DeVine capers about. Oh, since DeVine ”loses himself in Hawaiian culture,” he’s in brownface for part of the episode. Well, if anyone can pull off the complicated comedic ballet of cross-racial comedy, it’s Adam DeVine.
Backstage (Disney, 9 p.m., Friday): Can the series premiere of this teen ballet drama fill that Bunheads-shaped hole in your life? Admittedly, that’s a lot to ask from the Disney Channel, but Bunheads fans are pretty desperate at this point.
Second Chance (Fox, 9 p.m., Friday): In the season finale, Pritchard and Duval race to rescue Gracie before evil scientists Otto and and Connor can turn her into the female Pritchard. Look for Pritchard to have a change of heart. Here’s a clip:
Into The Grizzly Maze (Starz, 9 p.m., Friday): Tom Jane, James Marsden, Piper Perabo, Scott Glenn, and Billy Bob Thornton go deep into the Alaskan woods—and the jungle of video on demand—in this 2015 thriller about them all running from the biggest grizzly bear in all the land while waving their arms in the air and screaming and screaming and screaming.
Time For Three In Concert (PBS, 9 p.m., Friday): “The Time for Three string trio perform mash-ups of pop, classical and folk music with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra,” the perfect night of musical entertainment, for certain people.
Spring Broke (Showtime, 9 p.m., Friday): Documentary chronicling the rise of Daytona as the preferred destination for would-be drunk, definitely horny college students. The descriptions lists “adult content,” and “adult language,” which is pretty generous to the participants, really.
Vice (HBO, 11 p.m., Friday): The newsmagazine series focuses on Palestine and Cuba. Knowing Vice, it’s probably not about the fine and varied local cuisine.
Animals (HBO, 11:30 p.m., Friday): It’s all squirrels, mice, and puppies in this installment of the animated comedy series. This week, the unloved critters are voiced by the likes of Katie Aselton, Jenny Slate, Wanda Sykes, Jon Lovitz, and John Witherspoon.
Betty & Coretta (BET, 8 p.m., Saturday): This TV movie about the widows of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King carrying on their husbands’ legacies might have been made for Lifetime (and been called out for inaccuracies by the women’s families) but it’s got Angela Bassett and Mary J. Blige as Coretta Scott King and Betty Shabazz, respectively, so that’s something.
The Perfect Daughter (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): Well, it’s a Lifetime movie, so let’s go ahead and guess that either the daughter isn’t actually perfect, or that she’s not in a perfect situation. But, hey, Lifetime could throw us a curveball on this one, who knows?
The General (TCM, 8 p.m., Saturday): Is this Civil War-era action comedy Buster Keaton’s finest film? We asked AV Clubber and Keaton aficionado Zack Handlen and he said Sherlock, Jr., but let’s go ahead and say it’s one of Zack’s top 20 Buster Keaton movies and leave it at that.
School Of Rock (Nickelodeon, 9:30 p.m., Saturday): “Cameras are installed in the classrooms.” Why, that sounds like the cue for a music video! One, two—one, two, three, four!
Beowulf (Esquire, 10 p.m., Saturday): “Elvina reveals a dark secret.” Is it that she’s secretly a monster? If she’s really a monster, you can tell us. Listen, we really just want to know—she’s a monster of some kind, right?
Party Over Here (Fox, 11 p.m., Saturday): Nicole Byer, Jessica McKenna, and Alison Rich continue in their quest to be the sketch comedy lead-in to Saturday Night Live. So, with SNL dark this week, they’re the only sketch game in town, which should take the pressure off.
The NCAA Tournament’s still going on. Don’t pretend you don’t know how to find it. We’ve seen your brackets. You’re not doing well.
The Catch: The newest outpost of Shondaland found favor with Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, who generally knows what she’s talking about when it comes to sexy cat-and-mouse games. Don’t ask her how, for your own good.