When Poison frontman, Rock Of Love skank magnet, and hairline-obscuring headband-enthusiast Bret Michaels was felled by a descending set after his lip-synched performance of “Nothin’ But A Good Time” at the Tony Awards on Sunday, it was an instant YouTube classic, picked up by millions of people who couldn’t help reveling in a little schadenfreude. But revelers probably didn’t realize how much it hurt: Michaels sustained a broken nose and a split lip to go along with the tidal wave of mockery from all corners. In a rambling, often very funny statement posted on his official website, Michaels hits back a little by saying that even though he’s “trying to remain very positive and somewhat humorous about the whole situation,” he remains disappointed by the Tony organization’s official response to the incident, which stated that he was “completely fine and [he] missed his mark.”
Simple enough, right? Well, the statement turns out to be much more detailed and entertaining, which makes his five-day delay in getting it out more than worthwhile. Some gems: