Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever was released in 2002 and is therefore totally unwatchable due to its laughably out-of-date, 2002-era clothing and hairstyles. Fortunately, Roth recognizes that times have changed, and has signed on to executive produce a Cabin Fever remake that will update that archaic film for today’s modern audiences, using contemporary actors wearing contemporary dungarees. They’ll then peel away these modern pants to reveal the same old flesh-eating virus, as Deadline reports that the new Cabin Fever will use the exact same script Roth wrote with Randy Pearlstein more than a decade ago.
“I almost see this like re-staging a play,” said legitimate theater fan Roth, who’s hired Intruder director Travis Zariwny to help him breathe new life into the scenes of college students peeling off their skin that so entertained the old-fashioned audiences of 2002, primarily by making sure that skin is younger and has heard of Twitter. The new cast includes stars from MTV’s Teen Wolf and Paranormal Activity 3, who will once again rent a cabin and contract a fever, saying all of the original movie’s lines and hitting all of its beats—but 2015-style. Shooting begins this week, and will presumably be racing to finish before it will need to be remade all over again in 2016.