Campus thought police deny students' right to worship Danny DeVito with big pile of trash

By Gabe Worgaftik  |  November 16, 2018 | 9:22pm
Aux Features Danny DeVito

College is supposed to be a time of learning and open-mindedness, where one can explore and experiment with new ideas and new concepts. Of course, that’s only if you conform to the NPR-approved prevailing campus world-view. Sadly, the campus thought-police are at it again, and this time they’re taking away one of our most inalienable and basic rights: the right to give offerings of trash to a Danny DeVito shrine in a secret unfinished section of a public bathroom hidden behind a paper towel dispenser.

The latest incident of enforced campus conformity started innocently enough, when earlier this week students at SUNY Purchase proudly posted photos of their on-campus place of worship:

If you’ve been following the news in recent years you already know where this is headed. The public display of religious freedom would not go unpunished. Mere days after their posts went viral, the administration elites came down from their ivory towers to extract revenge. In less than a week, the shrine had been sealed off, their sacred place of worship desecrated in the name of “safety”:

Maybe these students should have known such a brash display of heterodox thinking would result in blowback from the administration. After all, these days colleges claim to want to provide “safe spaces,” but apparently people who just want to exercise their freedom to crawl into an unfinished, unlit, unventilated crawlspace where rats probably shit and leave a growing pile of trash as a means of worshipping Danny DeVito don’t deserve a safe space of their own. Telling, isn’t it?

The irony here is rich. If the campus crusaders have their way, every bathroom will be wide open to every person… that is, except for people who want to exercise their constitutional right to bring Danny DeVito a bunch of trash. Is there no end to the hypocrisy?

Thankfully, these brave students say they plan to soldier on and find a new place to worship—whether the group-thinkers in the administration like it or not. Still, the trend is undeniably troubling: if the university campus is simply no longer the place where our nation’s young minds go to be exposed to different viewpoints and also tetanus… then where is?

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