(Photo: NBC/Getty Images)

We don’t normally think of Bill O’Reilly—a man whose most popular fashion accessories generally stop at a scowl and a serviceable suit with a sexual harassment lawyer’s card safely hidden in the pocket—as a vocal clotheshorse. But lest we forget that O’Reilly is one of America’s last remaining Renaissance men—in that many of his views are now somewhere on the order of 300 years old—he hopped on Twitter today to treat his followers to a little fashion FYI:

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Combining, as it does, O’Reilly’s conspiratorial view on the universe, with his overly credulous opinions about his own height and weight, this tweet bares all the hallmarks of a classic internet alley-oop. And so the dunks came, fast and furious, as people lined up in the streets for a little nostalgic ripping on ol’ Papa Bear, who’s been mostly staying out of the limelight since he got himself fired from Fox News.

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And yet, in our hurry to mock a bad man for saying something dumb, it’s possible that we may have glossed over a truly terrifying possibility: That O’Reilly might be right.

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Damn it, retail; don’t make us print words like that.