Just a few days ago, we reported that Cyberpunk 2077 developer CD Projekt Red was cracking down on mods that allowed you to have sex in the game with Johnny Silverhand, the character played (in both face and voice) by Keanu Reeves. The studio explained that it has no problem with that kind of mod in general, but it takes issue with mods that could be seen as offensive to the actual human people who have agreed to appear in the game. In other words, CDPR had forgotten an important lesson: If you put something in a video game, people are going to want to have sex with it.
By contrast, the Resident Evil creators at Capcom have absolutely not forgotten that lesson, as evidenced by the fact that the official Resident Evil Twitter account recently felt the need to reveal a very specific detail about Lady Dimitrescu, the breakout character from the recent Resident Evil: Village demo. For those who haven’t been on the internet this week and therefore missed everybody getting horny on main, here’s the short version of the Village demo: You play in first-person as a character trapped in a dungeon, and after solving puzzles and avoiding scary witch/vampire ladies, you reach the exit and are immediately grabbed and (here’s the important part) lifted up by a very tall woman in a fancy gown and a big, floppy hat. The woman, Lady Dimitrescu, then shows off her pointy claw-hand and kills you. The end. You can see more of her in this trailer:
Of course, as previously established, the internet has had a wholly predictable reaction to being murdered by a big vampire woman in first-person, to the point where you probably shouldn’t click on the “Lady Dimitrescu” trending topic on Twitter if you’re at work. Capcom clicked on it, though. Capcom absolutely clicked on it, because it put out this tweet celebrating the “fair amount of attention” she has received along with the reveal that she is—pause for dramatic effect—over nine feet tall.
There you go, internet. Use that information in your fan art and your fanfics and your… whatever you want to use it for. We didn’t judge you for the Venom stuff or the Lost In Space stuff, so we’re not going to judge you for having a “this better not awaken anything in me” reaction to being eviscerated by a nine-foot lady in a big hat—but only because she’s not a real lady. You get that Keanu Reeves shit out of here.