Corey Feldman needs money to complete his new album

From the depths of crowdfunding comes the news that Corey Feldman has been working on an album for a decade. His Chinese Democracy-esque project is entitled Elev8or 2 Ascension, but he still needs help in completing it. So the actor/musician/minor baseball league disappointment has turned to Indiegogo to get the necessary funds (in this case, $105,000) to see his vision come to life. Those interested can watch the pitch video below, wherein the former Feld-dog describes his album as a “musical experience, a musical journey through all types of sounds from EDM to pop to rock to hip-hop…It‘s literally a sound of the ages.”

The Indiegogo campaign page itself is littered with furtive (and earnest) cries for help from his fans (dubbed “FeldFam”) in a diatribe that substitutes numbers for letters whenever possible and inserts ampersands like they’re going out of style. The problem, Feldman suggests, isn’t in the music itself but in the way people perceive him as an actor and, let’s say, celebrity:

I was never told “The music stinks” or “I just don’t hear it”, as typical turn downs from major labels go. No! Instead I got lots of weird excuses like “The songs are catchy, but do U have 2 sing them”? or “Not bad 4 an actor, but we don’t feel U will have the time 2 dedicate 2 a music career”, I was blown off, laughed at, & the doors were continuously slammed in my face. Never because of a lack of talent, but rather because of a prejudice, how could I succeed when so many others had tried before me and failed?

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But Feldman is self-aware enough to know how it appears when actors attempt to cross over into music, and shoots some hot fire at people like John Travolta and Alyssa Milano:

I became a statistic.With albums released by peers like John Travolta, Scott Baio, William Shatner, & Alyssa Milano as examples, the idea of actors making music became laughable, and fell under the catergory [sic] of “a joke”. That was it I was dead & buried in the music industry before I started.

So who will step up and help Corey finish his vision? The campaign has a month to go, but has raised just 1.5 percent of needed funds. And what are the perks for contributing to this endeavor? $40 lets donators become friends with Feldman on Facebook, $5 gets an tweet, and $10 gets an Instagram photo which Feldman outlines thusly:

I will take a pic on request of whatever U want me 2 do, n post it 2 my insta acct 4 U. I will pose, in any way U like, or take pics of my house, my studio, or what my closet looks like…up 2 U! NOTE* nothing vulgar or offensive & NO NUDITY! Just good clean fun!

The other rewards include copies of the album, an 8×10 picture of Sean Astin, and some various Skype sessions and personalized videos. The whole thing is worth reading just to see the inner workings of Feldman’s mind. And for all people preparing to ironically donate to the campaign, remember that Indiegogo takes the money at point of donation, and even if the goal of $105,000 isn’t met, Feldman gets what he was able to raise. So use those ironic dollars wisely! In the meantime, here’s the video for his last opus with his band, “Ascension Millennium:”