Trump blows medical marijuana smoke at cratering poll numbers
With his favorability in da couch, President Trump is significantly loosening medical marijuana regulations by reclassifying the drug from Schedule I to Schedule III.
Screenshot: YouTube
[Bong rip] [cough] President Trump [cough] [groan] [chug a 20 oz of Poland Spring] [blows nose] [groan] has found an answer to declining poll numbers: Medical marijuana. The ever-chill, bleary-eyed leader of the free world has announced that the White House will loosen federal regulations surrounding medical marijuana, moving F.D.A.-approved and state-regulated cannabis out of Schedule I classification and into Schedule III. Schedule I, as the hacky-sack-tossing set already knows, is the strictest level and includes drugs similar to pot, like heroin, LSD, bath salts, ecstasy, and GHB. Advocates have long argued that the classification has done nothing more than make marijuana convictions harsher, which disproportionately affects people of color. In states that have decriminalized pot usage, those rates have fallen dramatically. The classification has also prevented researchers from studying marijuana more closely. Reclassifying it as a Schedule III drug opens marijuana up to more research while also making it easier for businesses to set up dispensaries and giving them tax breaks. The president of the American Trade Association for Cannabis and Hemp, Michael Bronstein, told The Los Angeles Times that this is “the most significant federal advancement in cannabis policy in over 50 years,” a move that puts the federal government in line with “what Americans have long known, cannabis is medicine.”
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