Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP” is a great track and, despite it’s late entry to the running, definitely 2020's Song Of The Summer. It’s also just about as explicit as possible (and even more so, somehow, in the censored “wet and gushy” version). The only way to amp up its effect—to really make sure each lyric is as evocative as possible—is to recruit a true master of vulgarity. Enter Gilbert Gottfried’s rendition of “WAP.”
During a guest spot at Sirius XM’s Volume, Gottfried read through “WAP’s” lyrics, starting off with an enthusiastic “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy!” in his trademark, mangled-vocal-cord shout. Although anyone familiar with Gottfried thinks they can hear his performance of the track in their head already, we implore you to listen for yourself.
There’s a certain je ne sais quoi to the way he tackles each new line, enunciating “put this pussy right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card” with an intensity that makes you feel like your speakers should be boxed up and deposited at a nuclear waste facility. By the time he yells out, “spit in my mouth!” and “make it cream!” it’s hard to tell if your eyes are filled with tears because it’s so goddamned funny or because you’ve been overwhelmed by facing up against some ineffable perversity that words struggle to define.
We’ve heard “WAP” covers from unexpected sources before, most notably from right-wing goblin Ben Shapiro, but Gottfried’s version is something else entirely. It’s low and high art at once. It’s a performance that, once heard, lives forever in your mind. It’s beautiful.
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