Girls Gone Wild forced to debase itself by declaring bankruptcy

By Sean O'Neal | February 28, 2013 | 8:30pm

Aux Features Film

Proving there is no business that is 100-percent safe in uncertain economic times, not even the proud American industry of drunk girls flashing their breasts, Girls Gone Wild has been forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, according to Bloomberg News, in order to protect itself against debts stemming from a nice, firm pair of lawsuits. Naturally, the company has maintained the sense of pride that’s synonymous with the Girls Gone Wild name, claiming in a statement that their current situation is just “like American Airlines and General Motors having sought reorganization under Chapter 11”—an implicit reminder that as goes Girls Gone Wild, so goes the nation, with a threat to the shamelessness and self-pleasure that is our very way of life.

But fear not: While filing for bankruptcy does mean that Girls Gone Wild will have to expose itself to the U.S. Bankruptcy Court, holding up its assets in a humiliating bid for approval, the company has assured everyone that “it will be business as usual” for this definition of “business,” while founder Joe Francis has similarly assured TMZ and everyone concerned for Joe Francis that “this has no affect [sic] on his personal wealth,” which remains comfortingly vast. So, don’t worry. No one will be reduced to debasing themselves any further here, except for girls who want a free T-shirt.