God forbids Cersei Lannister’s breasts

By Sean O'Neal | August 25, 2014 | 7:57pm

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In a story that is unfortunately rife with spoilers that there will be nudity in the upcoming season of Game Of Thrones—as well as some geographical context for that nudity—TMZ reports that production on the show has hit a snag, after a Croatian church blocked filming on a scene that was to feature a nude Lena Headey. Important for other reasons, the scene is a key moment that requires Cersei Lannister to emerge nude from a church. Unfortunately, that church was intended to be Dubrovnik’s Church of St. Nicholas, dedicated to the teachings of the man who became the model for Santa Claus, due to his strict belief that all gifts should be wrapped.

That policy of fearing God’s supple creation has been handed down throughout the ages, and now it’s prompted the church to pressure the local film commission to deny access. Unfortunately, the scene (and the nudity, of course) is crucial to Game Of Thrones, so producers will have to find some other, more swingin’ church that’s willing to host. Or perhaps they could develop some sort of workaround using the vast array of special effects at their disposal, such as covering all of Lena Headey’s naughty bits with dragons. Or something else that seems pretty easy, really.