Gorillaz’s Murdoc says he’s “almost entirely” free of both fear and super-gonorrhea
In 11 Questions, The A.V. Club asks interesting people 11 interesting questions—and then asks them to suggest one for our next interviewee.
Murdoc Niccals is a bit of a hell-raiser. Although some might say the Gorillaz bassist is just a Keith Richards-inspired cartoon character drawn by Jamie Hewlett and voiced by Phil Cornwell, he actually has a fully formed backstory, from his birth in Stoke-On-Trent at a sanatorium “for the sick, the needy, and the incredibly bored” to his years spent on an around-the-world bender. Lately, he’s been pretty busy doing press for Humanz, the latest Gorillaz record, and prepping for the band’s first North American tour in seven years. Fortunately, he was able to take a few minutes off to sit down and answer The A.V. Club’s 11 Questions.
1. If you could spend the rest of your life inside one movie or TV show, which would it be and why?
Murdoc Niccals: The rest of my life stuck inside a TV show? Sounds like some kind of Orwellian fucking nightmare, mate. No, thank you. And if you did try locking me away, I’d smash my way out like in The Truman Show. ’Cause you can’t cage this animal. No one shackles Murdoc Niccals. No one except Madame Flesch, my dominatrix. Couldn’t escape her shackles if I tried. She’s got some pretty hardcore gear, lot of vintage Cold War stuff. I actually spent a month in an isolation tank she got from the KGB. Absolutely harrowing. Top holiday, that.
Then again, if you’re talking just a brief sojourn, I’d probably be up for a stint in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Not ’cause of the chocolate—can’t stand the muck. I’ve just always wanted to see how far I can throw an Oompa-Loompa.
2. Do you have a favorite swear word or phrase? How often do you use it, and in what circumstances?
MN: Too hard to pick one. What you’ve got to remember is the English have been swearing since the fucking Romans. It’s the heart and soul of our lexicon. I barely fucking notice I’m doing it. That’s why we’ve got Shakespeare and you’ve got Oprah Winfrey. I’ve got this theory that the Puritans sailed to America ’cause they didn’t like our dirty words. I even heard the word “rooster” was invented by your mob ’cause they didn’t want to say “cock” any more. Who doesn’t like saying cock? We’ve named half of London after it. We’ve got Cockfosters, Cock Alley, Cock Hill, and my personal favorite, Cockbush Avenue. All real places, I kid you not. In the countryside it gets even filthier. You could be wandering down Minge Lane, turn onto Butt Hole Road and end up in Shittington.
3. How did you spend your last birthday?
MN: Sat in my underpants crying at the passage of time. Nah, only joking. I went on a pilgrimage to the place of my birth. The Three Legged Dog in Stoke-On-Trent. It’s a pub. Before I materialized there it was just your typical shit British boozer. Today it’s the world’s second-most-popular pilgrimage site after Bethlehem. I was born out the back by the wheelie bins. That was the only time I met my mum, come to think of it. Anyway, I go once a year to pay my respects. Give the old blue plaque a polish. That’s not a euphemism, by the way. Blue plaques are commemorative signs that link a place and a really, really famous person. English Heritage refused to put one up at first, since I’m not dead, but after I went into their office with a tomahawk, they made an exception.
4. What is the worst professional advice you’ve ever received?
MN: My first manager told me the golden rule of showbiz is to be nice to people on the way up ’cause you’ll meet them again on the way down. I punched him for saying that. Then fired him. There’s no way I’ll see him again on the way down, because a) Murdoc Niccals is a living fucking legend that will never go down—though I’d make an exception for Madonna—and b) he died last year. Fell off his roof trying to hang a satellite dish. Tragic, really. Poor bastard will never get to hear the new album.