Exhibiting behavior rarely seen outside a 12-year-old who’s found themselves banned from their favorite Yu-Gi-Oh! forum for dropping their very first racial slur, the still-technically-President-of-the-United-States appears to have tried to post through the pain tonight—a tricky concept, given that the pain in question was from his own lifetime Twitter ban. But Donald J. Trump has always been a maverick of going and being where he’s explicitly not wanted by a clear majority of people, and so the long and weird saga of our first Twitter-American President got a strange little epilogue tonight, as Trump bounced between his various still-extant Twitter accounts, trying to find one that wouldn’t immediately also get the banhammer dropped on its head.
But, alas, it was not to be: Trump first tried to use the @POTUS account—which he still has custody of for somewhere between 0 and 12 more days—to send out a message to…someone?…decrying Twitter’s late-era growth of a spine. But the tweet was quickly deleted by the tireless mods, which only appeared to embolden the vigorous Trump machine. They were soon tweeting the man’s words from the TeamTrump Twitter account, which was used for campaign posts for several years before meeting its ignominious end tonight, dying valiantly in an attempt to let the world know that Donald Trump is very sad he doesn’t have anything fun to do on the shitter anymore. (Before it went, it did note that TeamTrump has a presence on Parler, which, sure, maybe that’ll turn out well.)
There have been many questions, over the last four years and change, about what Trump’s tenure will do to the dignity of the office he so nakedly, fumblingly, and aggressively aspired to. But we have to ask ourselves: What of the dignity of the account? There’s something mind-splittingly odd about watching a tech company play sock puppet Whack-A-Mole with the President of the United States, slapping down tweets as they come crawling out of the woodwork to let out their insistent, unceasing whine. Where does it go from here? The man needs to tweet, to tell us his thoughts on Coca-Cola, or Kristen Stewart, or China. What depths will this madman sink to to get that next “For the love of god, listen to me!” hit?