Happy May the Fourth: Chewbacca is on the run after stabbing a guy in New Orleans

Last known whereabouts. Photo: NOPD
It’s May the 4th—Star Wars Day—but it’s not all fun and new Disney+ releases. Sadly, an unfortunate pallor hangs over this year’s festivities that is limiting the amount of actual celebration… oh, not COVID-19, though. No one apparently gives a shit about that now. No, many are still grappling with a beloved Resistance member’s recent fall from grace. Didn’t hear about it? Well, allow us to be the bearers of unfortunate news from a galaxy far, far away: New Orleans.
A little over a week ago, the New Orleans Police Department issued an alert for local residents to be on the lookout for Chewbacca after the Wookiee reportedly knifed a guy not far from Bourbon Street in the French Quarter.