Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, December 1. All times are Eastern.
Top pick
Fresh Off The Boat (ABC, 8:30 p.m.): DMX, the world’s most intense rapper, is apparently ready to get back into the acting game after six years away by playing himself on tonight’s Fresh Off The Boat. DMX’s guest turn here follows up such powerful performances as Tagg in The Bleeding, Black Jack in Last Hour, the protagonist Nick in Lockjaw: Rise Of The Krulev Serpent, The Dog in Death Toll, and King David in Never Die Alone, which we can only assume is some sort of Biblical epic. DMX’s IMDB page is basically the greatest thing ever, is what we’re driving at here. Shelby Fero would say this is the start of DMX’s Ice Cube-style transformation into a kid-friendly entertainer, but that would be ignoring DMX’s era-defining collaboration with Thomas the Tank Engine.
Also noted
The Muppets (ABC, 8 p.m.): Let’s see what’s coming up in tonight’s episode: “Joseph Gordon-Levitt performs a duet with Miss Piggy on ‘Up Late’ and then plays poker with Scooter, Pepe and the gang. Meanwhile, the Great Gonzo prepares for his next death-defying stunt; and Dave Grohl challenges Animal to a drumming contest.” Hmm. That’s fine, we guess. Certainly nothing wrong with any of that. It’s just … ABC has already got DMX guest-starring on one of its shows, so it feels like a bit of a waste to spend time elsewhere with any non-DMX celebrities, you know?
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 9 p.m.): Well, maybe this one will sound more enticing, even sans DMX: “Ward’s revenge plan wreaks havoc and Coulson proves he will do anything to settle a score.” No, sorry, this simply will not do. With apologies to the wishes of reviewers Dan Caffrey and Oliver Sava, we’re taking matters into our own hands here. To wit…
Also noted: All-DMX Edition
The Muppets (ABC, 8 p.m.): “Joseph Gordon-Levitt DMX performs a duet with Miss Piggy on ‘Up Late’ and then plays poker with Scooter, Pepe and the gang. Meanwhile, the Great Gonzo DMX prepares for his next death-defying stunt; and Dave Grohl DMX challenges Animal to a drumming contest.” Yes.
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 9 p.m.): “Ward’s DMX’s revenge plan wreaks havoc and Coulson DMX proves he will do anything to settle a score.” Much better.
Also also noted: Non-DMX Edition
The Flash (The CW, 8 p.m.): After a whole bunch of episodes that were vaguely setting up the upcoming Legends Of Tomorrow, here comes the annual Flash/Arrow crossover to officially kick off the next spin-off. Vandal Savage and various Hawkpeople are prominently involved. Scott Von Doviak is ready to get things started, just as long as The Flash doesn’t immediately segue from laying the groundwork for one spin-off into hinting at a Supergirl crossover or something.
Manhattan (WGN, 9 p.m.): Apologies to Brandon Nowalk and all the Manhattan fans out there, as we’ve temporarily left this out of a couple What’s On Tonight listings, for awful, prosaic reasons like “WGN is at the bottom of an alphabetical listing of networks, and scrolling all the way down there is hard!” You’re in the hands of trustworthy professionals, is what we’re getting at. Though you probably understood that after all the DMX-related content up top. Speaking of which: “As the project falters, Charlie turns to an unlikely partner for help.” An unlikely partner, you say? Surely that couldn’t be … no, that’s silly. For one thing, there’s really nothing unlikely about DMX being in possession of an atomic bomb.
Girlfriends’ Guide To Divorce (Bravo, 10 p.m.): This Lisa Edelstein-starring show, Bravo’s first foray into scripted television—well, television that it admits is scripted, at any rate—returns for its second season, and we’re giving it a tryout in the regular coverage rotation after a strong first year. The season premiere finds Lisa’s Abby taking a job at an online publication, though she soon runs astray of a rival editor. If the reason for said rivalry is because Abby writes weekly TV listings that keep telling the harsh truths about television’s worrisome DMX shortage and posting random old wrestling clips, we’ll know what’s up. Gwen Ihnat doubts this show is based on our lives, but she’s far too polite to rule it out completely.