How To Artfully Distract People From Looking At Lindsay Lohan's Cleavage
1. Put your wrinkled, aging hand directly on top of the offending cleavage. This has a two pronged effect: first, it makes you look like the world's most hilariously prudish grandma, and second, to the casual viewer, it looks like Lindsay has the strangely horizontal cleavage of a hilariously prudish grandma. Either way, the focus is back on you.