Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

I Miss Howard Stern

Like a lot of New Yorkers, for years I would wake up every day and listen to Howard Stern. Now, when I wake up, I watch part of an episode of Dawson's Creek on TBS, and you know what? It's not the same. (But there are similarities, like angst, for instance, and giant Dawson-Leery-like foreheads, and stupid promo shots.)

Illustration for article titled I Miss Howard Stern
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There were parts that I hated about

The Howard Stern Show (usually any part that involved The Wack Pack, or 'The Tickle Chair,' or a giggling porn star) but overall the show was pretty funny. Especially the celebrity interviews. Stern has a way of both flattering and insulting his guests that apparently causes them to open up. He's also the only host I know who actively whines his way into getting a person to answer a question. It was like listening to an interview conducted by an oversexed, petulant 8 year old. In short, it was compelling. But since I'm not paying $13 a month for it, it's now gone forever. Except when Stern gets someone famous to talk about something sexual or mean. Then I get to read about it everywhere. Here's a list of the stories Stern has broken since he moved to satellite radio: —Janice Dickenson has slept with everyone, but did not succumb to the tawdry come-ons of Bill Cosby. —Wilmer Valderrama is a huge man-whore. —Dustin Diamond is huger. He's also bankrupt. And selling "I Paid $15 To Save Screeech's House" D-Shirts to help raise money to save his house, while keeping him from getting sued for copywright infringement. —Howard Stern doesn't just get snubbed. He gets snubbed at Nobu. —Oh, and more than you ever wanted to know about Carnie Wilson's lower half. If it wasn't for Howard Stern, these stories would go totally unreported, just more D-List celebrity gossip swept under the rug. Really, he's doing us all a huge service. Which brings me to my main question: Is anyone actually paying the $13 a month? If so, is it at all worth it?

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