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Among its many crimes, the one Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker still hasn’t paid for is the sudden introduction of Emperor Palpatine’s sex life into the Star Wars canon. By revealing that Emperor Palpatine lost his V-card over summer break and returned to Star Wars as the grandparent of Rey Skywalker, the film forces the image of Emperor Palpatine having sex onto the viewer, and, honestly, the world has gotten markedly worse since. Nevertheless, while these ideas are never explored in the movie, along with how Palpatine returns exactly, these cursed ideas needed to be worked out in actor Ian McDiarmid’s mind before cameras started rolling. Thankfully, he had midichlorians to prevent himself from spiraling about what happens with all the Force lightning when Palpatine bangs out.
Speaking to Variety, McDiarmid said, “there was never any discussion,” regarding Palpatine’s fuck style because “we don’t really know the answer to that question.” So it was up to the actor to “work it out in my head,” like so many DeviantArtists before him. Midichlorians were his answer. The little Force cells that give Jedi their power were used to make Anakin Skywalker, supposedly, and that same process could’ve produced a Rey. But since “George didn’t want to go too deeply into that,” McDiarmid “reckoned it was kind of virgin birth, though one not to say that because God knows you get all sorts of complications.”
He continued, “Then people ask the slightly embarrassing question about, ‘Does this evil monster ever have sex?’ And we don’t really know the answer to that question either — things in tubes, you think about probably, rather than the awful vision that you might have in your head of this monster ever having a sexual relationship with anybody.”
We may never know precisely how Emperor Palpatine shags, baby, yeah, but it’s preferable to have “things in tubes” than a scene of Palpatine getting freaky. Still, we’d take a Palpatine sex scene over that Chewbacca death fake-out.
