Looking for something as shiny as it is meaningless to use as a doorstop? Want to impress your (very impressionable) friends? Like statues? Then you may want to think about getting yourself an Emmy. In the past, Emmys were only handed out to Patricia Heaton, the cast of The West Wing, and the rare individual who could climb to the top of the (purely metaphorical) ivory television tower (FYI: that's a tower made out of working televisions carved from ivory, not a giant ivory television antenna or something).
But the good news is, nowadays Emmys are easier to get than ever! You just have to land a guest starring role on 30 Rock and they'll practically throw them at you. Take a look at the nominations for this year:
GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES:
Shelley Berman, "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
Rip Torn, "30 Rock"
Will Arnett, "30 Rock"
Steve Buscemi, "30 Rock"
Tim Conway, "30 Rock"
GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES:
Polly Bergen, "Desperate Housewives"
Edie Falco, "30 Rock"
Kathryn Joosten, "Desperate Housewives"
Carrie Fisher, "30 Rock"
Sarah Silverman, "Monk"
Elaine Stritch, "30 Rock"
Still, a guest-starring role on 30 Rock doesn't necessarily guarantee an Emmy. In fact, a number of that series' great guest stars this season were sadly overlooked, such as:
Liz's sandwich in the "Sandwich Day" episode.
David Schwimmer's Greenzo costume (as well as David Schwimmer)
Kenneth's very charismatic cappuccino machine
Liz's bag of Sabor De Soledad cheese puffs
So, as long as you're not an inanimate object (and/or Jerry Seinfeld), all it takes is one guest-starring role on 30 Rock, and an Emmy nomination is practically yours! (Of course, if you have a steady supporting role on the series, like Jack McBrayer or Tracy Morgan or Jane Krackowski, you're out of luck.)