You can learn a lot about a talk show host from the products she advertises. Think of it as a kind of psychoanalysis through product-pushing: Every thing they foist on us is a key to their warped psyches. For example, as indicated by her Favorite Things™ list, Oprah probably either a.) suffers from clinical depression, or b.) is trying to induce clinical depression in her viewers. But judging by her latest fave, British singer Leona Lewis' song "Bleeding Love," Oprah is either a.) a secret cutter or b.) trying to induce cutting amongst her (now clinically depressed) viewers.

At least, that's how I interpret lyrics like "You cut me open/ and I keep, keep bleeding love." (Which, to Lewis's credit, is a much tidier metaphor than the original, "Your love's a cyst/ and it keeps, keeps oozing dreams.")

Anyway, I guess it's good to see that cutting (as a theme) isn't just for emo songs anymore, right?

Incidentally, following a performance on Oprah last week and a touch from The Anointed One herself, this song is now the number 1 single in America, so you should think about stocking up on razors now before every Oprah viewer in the country buys them all. At this rate, I'm sure Lewis's album, Massive Hemorrhage Of Feelings, Spilling All Over The Floor And Staining Your Carpet Red is sure to do really well.