Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, July 14. All times are Eastern.
Top pick
Steven Universe (Cartoon Network, 6 p.m.): It’s become Steven Universe’s default programming move to throw out a so-called Steven Bomb, in which the show airs a new episode every day for a week, then disappears again. Like live animation, this can be hell on Eric Thurm’s reviewing wrists, but if anyone’s up to the challenge, it’s someone who has fully adopted the Steven Universe philosophy, which seems pretty dang empowering. We’re less optimistic if, say, CSI: Cyber starts pulling this sort of thing. If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times: Hacker James Van Der Beek is only so empowering!
Another Period (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Christina Hendricks’ Chair is in need of some servant lessons, and who better to provide it than Michael Ian Black’s Peepers? Well, given the typical competency of any given Michael Ian Black character, probably just about anyone, but that’s the risk one runs when living in a cosmos even partially populated with Michael Ian Black characters. Our metaphysical musings aside, LaToya Ferguson is prepping for Lillian and Beatrice’s entrance into Newport’s Most Beautiful Pageant, which their weird sister Hortense is set to sabotage.
Also noted, albeit more begrudgingly
Scream: The TV Series(MTV, 10 p.m.): Yep, this is still a thing. LaToya Ferguson will be round to review this, too, we guess. So, whatever happened last week with that podcasting newshound or whatever the hell?
What Else Is On: Jumbo-Sized Edition (because we were bored, we guess?)
King Of The Hill (Adult Swim, 8 p.m./8:30 p.m.): We’ve held off on highlighting King Of The Hill in recent weeks, because, as much as we love pretty much every episode of this show, we’re not going to point you toward syndicated, weirdly widescreen-cropped reruns for just any episodes. But tonight we’ve got a pair of top 10 greats in “The Propaniacs”—or “The Propane Maniacs,” as Peggy Hill repeatedly insists on calling them, in the most Peggy Hill move ever—and “Nancy’s Boys,” in which Nancy Gribble commits the ultimate act of infidelity by sleeping with her own husband.
1 Of 1: Genesis (ESPN, 8 p.m.): “An exploration into the similarities between elite athletes and comicbook superheroes. Russell Wilson, Danica Patrick, Carmelo Anthony, Tim Howard, Tony Hawk and Colin Kaepernick are among those featured.” If you’re looking to identity the absolute nadir of crossing two wayward branches of the same entertainment conglomerate in synergistic hell … yeah, this Marvel/ESPN team-up is probably it.
Zoo (CBS, 9 p.m.): Hey, what have you got for us, Zoo? “A death-row inmate escapes from a Mississippi prison during a vicious wolf invasion.” That really ought to be the most incredible thing in network television history, but, somehow, this is only the last of four listed subplots, which suggests a vanishingly small part of this episode is going to be some kind of psychotic lupine-themed prison riot. More’s the pity.
Mission Pluto(National Geographic, 9 p.m.): New Horizons has got everyone’s favorite (dwarf) planet back in the news, and this special offers an inside look at NASA’s work exploring Pluto. We’re guessing you’ll learn nearly as much science from this as you would from that Zoo episode with the wolf prison riot.
Cry Wolfe (ID, 10 p.m.): “A young wife suspects her older husband of cheating with someone even younger.” What really takes this to the next level of gloriously trash-tastic is the fact that the episode is called “Keeping It In The Family.”
How The Universe Works(Science, 10 p.m.): “The Season 4 premiere explains how an auto engine holds within it the history of the universe.” Huh. That feels … ambitious.
My Giant Life (TLC, 10 p.m.): TLC follows up two hours of little people-themed programming with this new series about four women who are all 6’6” or taller. This now means that, statistically speaking, TLC’s programming consists entirely of people of average height. (We, uh, may have gotten a C- in our college statistics class.)
Notorious (IFC, 8 p.m.): So, we totally thought this was the Notorious that’s the Alfred Hitchock-directed, Cary Grant- and Ingrid Bergman-starring spy thriller, and we were all set to cue up the video of what one Youtuber declares “the most erotic kiss in movie history”—which, yes, it totally is, as well as the ultimate “screw you” to the Hays Code—but this Notorious is actually the Biggie biopic. Which is also supposed to be pretty good! Still going to play the video of that kiss though.
Starman(Encore, 8 p.m.): While the Notorious mix-up is relatively understandable, it’s a little less reasonable for us to assume this is some hitherto unknown adaptation of James Robinson’s awesome mid-90s run on the Starman comic. What can we say? We really like Jack Knight and the Shade. The actual movie, in which alien Jeff Bridges romances the widow Karen Allen, is also supposed to be excellent though.
MLB All-Star Game (Fox, 7 p.m.): Some digital ballot-stuffing got us this close to the greatest dumb thing in the history of All-Star Games, with the American League starting lineup nearly consisting of eight Kansas City Royals—including second baseman Omar Infante, whose current value is exactly the same as any random player off the scrap heap—and reigning MVP Mike Trout, who is a god. Sadly, the actual lineup is more or less reasonable, though it’s a bummer that there was no room for the disgraced yet resurgent, Biogenesis-linked Alex Rodriguez in the lineup as the designated hitter … but, just in case you think Major League Baseball’s steroids moralism ever makes sense, the actual starting DH, Nelson Cruz, is himself a disgraced yet resurgent, Biogenesis-linked player. Anyway, this exhibition game will determine home-field advantage in the World Series for some dumb reason—somehow, this was the best way to fix that one time the game ended in a tie—so go watch!
In case you missed it
Gravity Falls: Friend, have you accepted Gravity Falls into your life? Don’t worry if you haven’t yet—you’ve got plenty of time to do so before another one of these escapes the Disney vaults. In the meantime, check out Alasdair Wilkins’ review.
