Jar Jar Binks to get the tragic, pathetic ending he deserves
Back in 2015, an elaborate fan theory from a Reddit user named “Lumpawarroo” began making the rounds with its initially risible, then increasingly convincing argument that Jar Jar Binks—the mocking manifestation of all your years of serious devotion to a fantasy for kids—was a secret Sith lord all along. The theory offers some surprisingly persuasive evidence for the goofball Gungan as a Force-wielding mole, whose seeming dumb luck on the battlefield, baffling political sway, and general, irritatingly illogical presence at so many pivotal moments in the saga wasn’t just a means of moving some Jar Jar toothbrushes, but rather, a tip-off that he was manipulating these events undetected—the true Phantom Menace of the title. It concludes by arguing that George Lucas, who repeatedly referred to Jar Jar as “the key to all of this,” even intended to reveal this in the prequels, but chickened out over the intense hatred Jar Jar garnered. It also suggests that Disney’s new trilogy might finish what Lucas never could by bringing Jar Jar back, now fully unmasked as a powerful Sith lord, thus redeeming his entire arc (and the much-maligned prequels). It’s an intriguing hypothesis, and for once, it had people looking at Jar Jar with something besides utter disdain.
It’s also never going to happen. As excerpted by Mashable, Chuck Wendig’s new novel Aftermath: Empire’s End—part of the new, official, Disney-approved Star Wars canon—will finally answer the question of Jar Jar Binks’ fate by divulging that he washed up as a pitiful, despised, literal clown back on Naboo, where he does pratfalls for the amusement of little kids while the adults do their damnedest to ignore him. Besides being a sly commentary on the character’s general reception, the scene seems to confirm that Jar Jar’s actions weren’t a masterful act of subterfuge. Rather, Jar Jar really is a blundering idiot, and now everybody hates him for it: