Thus far, the strategy for the promotion of Bee Movie seems to have been innundate people with Jerry Seinfeld, which must have seemed pretty foolproof. After all, people love Jerry Seinfeld! They will pay ridiculous sums to see him do stand-up! They thought those American Express ads were kind of clever! They still watch Seinfeld in syndication! Why, America's just been waiting to be clubbed repeatedly over the head with promotions for Seinfeld's incredibly mediocre-looking take on animated insects!

But with every horrible, un-funny, and grating "TV junior" or interview or guest appearance, Seinfeld has effectively chipped away at the funny, sharp, entertaining reputation he deservedly earned years ago. He is no longer Jerry Seinfeld, the creator of the exceptional sitcom Seinfeld. He is now Jerry Seinfeld, guy who will only shut up about Bee Movie long enough to launch into a tirade full of lukewarm jokes in defense of his wife's awful cookbook.

In short, Seinfeld is kind of an asshole now–and he's not even a funny asshole like Larry David.

Click here to watch a clip of him on last night's Late Show crossing the bridge into complete, unredeemable terribleness. (Unfortunately, this clip doesn't include Seinfeld's new "Why do I have to lock my cell phone?" material. His finger isn't just on the pulse–it's pressing so hard that cardiac arrest is imminent!)

Vegetable plagiarism–Zing! Good one, Jerry! The whole puree plagiarism thing would be kind of ridiculous, if, you know, the "wacko" (double zing!) in question was actually claiming plagiarism, and if you and Oprah didn't treat your wife like a genius for coming up with chicken nuggets that have been fortified with a negligible amount of nutrition.

Also "Vegetable plagiarism" isn't nearly as funny (or sad) as "Loboutin Gratitude."

Still, you are right about one thing: this incredibly boring cookbook controversy did arise because of your celebrity status. Of course, your wife would never have had a book in the first place without your celebrity, so in a way the whole thing is your fault! Funny!

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