Jon Stewart tries, fails to ignore Trump's distractions

Used in the past to determine how worried we should be about Biden’s presidential debate performance, tonight’s graph charted “ok?” over Trump’s “statements over time.” Unfortunately, with topics like how many dolls are too many for a “beautiful baby girl that’s 11 years old” and whether the President is required to uphold the Constitution, it’s easy to get worked up. Trump’s lecture about the purchasing habits of American parents for American children became even harder to swallow, as the President, from the confines of his gold-plated penthouse, described a $90 million military parade he was throwing for his birthday.

It’s a challenge to maintain composure while Trump drones on and on about what a beautiful and miserable place Alcatraz is. But Stewart warned the audience not to get distracted by things that don’t make sense, e.g., Alcatraz, The Pope, etc. (Though with our luck and his, both will happen, probably). Instead, the host shook off the outrage and reported about the ongoing cuts the government is still making, hollowing out the nation’s food banks; gutting the FAA and leaving Newark Airport inoperable; and firing most of the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health, which ran healthcare programs for 9/11 first responders. These things are worth getting angry over. Just not as angry as that stupid AI image of Trump as a buff Jedi. The guy probably doesn’t even know what a Kyber crystal is, which makes us so mad.