Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, April 8. All times are Eastern.
Kart Life (TruTV, 10 p.m.): Were you aware that there is an “intense world of kart racing kids and their pit crew parents?” Probably not, but considering all of the different ways parents can enroll their children in activities that will probably scar them for life, it makes all the sense in the world. If we’re being honest, the best case scenario for a kid in this this world is that it peaks with real life Mario Kart, but— What’s that? The winner of this “docu-series” (the “sophisticated” way to say “reality series”) lands a national ranking and a shot at becoming a pro driver. The key word here is “shot” at becoming a pro driver. Like we said: The best case scenario here is it all becomes real life Mario Kart. The best case scenario for everything in life is that it becomes real life Mario Kart.
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): In this week’s Survivor, “castaways walk a fine line and struggle to stay balanced at a reward challenge.” Hopefully that doesn’t spoil too much, even though it is technically a description for every single episode of Survivor. On the other hand, all of those other episodes aren’t curiously titled “Keep It Real.” Carrie Raisler, a reviewer known for keeping it real, is sure all the pieces will come together in time. At least by the time the episode airs.
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m): Black-ish may only be in its first season, but it knows exactly what the people want in their ABC comedies: episodes where The Real World is an integral part of the plot. When the kids learn that one of Bow’s college friends was a cast member on The Real World, they decide to shoot their own version of the long-running MTV reality show. Now we’re wondering if Pilot Viruet’s review of the episode will just be: “it wasn’t not funny.”
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): In this, the season five finale of Workaholics, the guys “reminisce about” (which of course means “flashback to”) their first day on the job at TelAmeriCorp. If that means flashback wigs are on the table, then count us in. If it doesn’t, well, you can still count us in. It’s just that Dennis Perkins already has his own personalized flashback wig for such occasions, and he’s not putting it away.
Broadchurch (BBC America, 10 p.m.)
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.)
Hey, did you hear about the recent Price Is Right goof? If you’re reading this right now, you most likely did. (And thanks for reading, by the way.) Well John Teti did too, and he has compiled an Inventory of six other times the price was—you guessed it—wrong.
Lost (Classic) (1 p.m.): Myles McNutt returns to two episode review status this week, and you know what that means: double the screencaps! He still hasn’t topped this—
—but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying. Luckily, he’s got the universally praised Jack-centric episode “Stranger In A Strange Land” to guide him. He’s also reviewing the Hurley-centric “Tricia Tanaka Is Dead” (spoiler alert to those who thought Tricia Tanaka was alive and well), but we all know “Stranger In A Strange Land” is on a different plane of existence than just about every other episode of television.
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9 p.m.): If you’re interested in people, you’re in luck! This episode is full of them, in the form of guest stars. Gary Sinise, Anna Gunn, Daniel Henney, Tyler James Williams, Sterling K. Brown, Tom Everett Scott, and Bonnie Somerville all guest star in this episode, with the last two playing kidnapping victims in Barbados. Why so many people? If you guessed spin-off, you might have seen a television show or two in your life.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 9 p.m.): And we quote: “AN UNDERAGE SEX PARTY LEADS TO A MEASLES EPIDEMIC IN NEW YORK CITY.”
Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): While the press release for this week’s episode is mostly an advertisement for “indie sensation” Ron Pope, it does also feature this amazing episode description: “Juliette is excited about Rayna throwing her a star-studded baby shower, but when Rayna gets pulled into Sadie’s drama instead of hosting, Juliette starts her own mama drama.” The phrase “mama drama” is one you really don’t think of when it comes to Nashville, so this has to be good. Rayna ignoring Juliette sounds about right, though.
CSI: Cyber (CBS, 10 p.m.): In this week’s episode of CSI: Cyber, the Cyber team has to track down a bomber who has… watched episodes Black Mirror? According to the official episode description, it’s “a bomber fixated on revealing the ‘truth’ about society’s overreliance on technology.” Same difference.
Big Time In Hollywood, FL (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Are you watching Big Time In Hollywood, FL? Of course you are—you watch everything that’s mentioned on What’s On Tonight. Those are the rules. In this week’s episode, “Rehabilitation,” Jack has to adjust to life on his own while Ben has to adjust to life in, well, rehab. Guess which one has it worse? (The answer is probably “their parents.”)
Lottery Ticket (BET, 9 p.m.): You’re already watching CSI: Cyber. Why not watch a movie starring Bow Wow movie as well?
X-Men: The Last Stand (HBO, 10:15 p.m.): Want to have a truly memorable Wednesday night? Find a friend who will agree to get into a heated X3 argument with you. Come on, you know it’s big deal when TV Guide Dude decides to throw in his/her opinion in a synopsis, and this time is no different, as the description for this movie begins by calling it “the flawed sequel.” That’s one way to describe this movie.
NHL Hockey: Bruins at Capitals (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.): It’s Boston versus Washington, with the former on a five-game winning streak, with no signs of stopping. Can the Capitals slow the Bruins’ momentum?
New Girl: Jess Day played golf with ladies, Winston Bishop wooed a lady, and Schmidt accidentally became a ghost boy for a lady. Gwen Ihnat—coincidentally, a lady—considered the episode “a rare slow spot” in this current season, but she did find the episode’s discussion on race interesting, especially since the episode was co-written by New Girl cast member Lamorne Morris.