Concerts have always been ritualized avenues for people to unleash their animalistic instincts within certain predetermined parameters without fear of social reprisal, but this shit is ridiculous. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that the animal within Kenny Chesney fans is apparently a disgusting pig, after more than 30 people were taken to hospitals and “several more” arrested after a Chesney concert at Heinz Field last night. Pittsburgh public safety director Wendell Hissrich says 99 people were treated by EMTs in total, 37 of whom had to be transported to medical facilities. The culprits? Intoxication and dehydration, obviously.
That’s not that different from your average electronic music festival, but there is one thing that makes a Kenny Chesney show different: The reeking piles of garbage. No, not the fans, funny guy. Literal garbage, unusual amounts of it that follow a Kenny Chesney show like a rainbow after a storm, or an uninformed opinion after the statement “I heard on Fox News…” The Post-Gazette was so awestruck by the spectacle it began writing free verse: “Pickup trucks crunched glass bottles underneath tires; fluid from portable toilets overflowed into the street; people covered their noses with their shirts to escape the stench.” City workers ended up clearing 48 tons of trash overnight, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, which also cattily notes that a Billy Joel concert last weekend at the same venue occurred without incident.
This is apparently better than the last time Chesney played Heintz Field in 2013, after which 73 people were arrested and 150 treated by medics. Stereogum helpfully sets the stage with this video, taken in the parking lot outside the show:
That’s basically an Idiocracy 2 proof of concept right there. The next stop on Chesney’s tour is at Darling’s Waterfront Pavillion in Bangor, Maine on July 9, so Bangorites still have a couple of days to board up their windows and stock up on canned goods. Remember: By the time you hear “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy,” it’s already too late.