Let’s all watch Legends and come up with terrible spy names!

Wilfred (FXX, 10 p.m.): It’s the two-episode series finale, and it would have been the Top Pick, but no one on Wilfred is named Crystal Quest. Sorry, Rowan Kaiser.

One might assume that a Western starring Bruce Campbell would last at least six seasons before branching out into the expected movie and chin-based toy franchise it would so richly deserve. But that assumption would actually be completely wrong. Zack Handlen is here to tell us all why with the latest edition of One Season Wonders, Weirdos, And Wannabes, all about a show that everyone should know and love (or at least just know): The Adventures Of Brisco County, Jr.

Wild Kratts (PBS, 5:30 p.m.): “Two Wild Kratts kids send an SOS after praying mantis eggs hatch and fill their room with 200 babies.” First of all: If this is children’s programming, this is absolutely horrifying and thousands of kids around the world are going to grow up scarred for life. Second of all: Did anyone else know this show exists? Third of all: If so, why have you been hiding this from the rest of us? Fourth of all: This show needs to have regular A.V. Club coverage.

Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift (AMC, 6:30 p.m.): Some might argue that the Fast & Furious film that features Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba” and Bow Wow in an acting role shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a network that is technically supposed to be a home to American movie classics. They would not be the losers of said argument. But for the sake of completion, Tokyo Drift is a necessary evil. It does take place in the future, after all.

Suits (USA, 9 p.m.): This week’s episode includes a deposition where “no topic is off limits, bringing professional and personal secrets to light.” Since this is essentially the definition of a deposition, this is even more reason to believe that Suits episode descriptions are actually a secret code. The plot thickens.

Top Chef: Duels (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Rumor has it this is the episode where the top chefs finally take on old school duel rules instead of culinary duel rules. You didn’t hear that from me though.

Taxi Brooklyn (NBC, 10 p.m.): “Leo’s convinced it’s a Zombie outbreak, but Caitlyn uncovers a terrorist plot.” Clearly, Taxi Brooklyn also needs to be put into the regular coverage rotation.

Franklin & Bash (TNT, 10 p.m.): Breckin Meyer recently called Dustin Diamond (no relation to Diamond Park) a “dick.” Remember that as you’re watching Franklin and Bash practice the law in a fun and cool way in this season’s premiere. And then try to remember a way to remember—four seasons in—which one is Franklin and which one is Bash. The answer might surprise you. (We are all both Franklin and Bash.)

30 Rock: Erik Adams is now writing about the first season of 30 Rock, and somehow his review on the pilot is not a 1,000 word discussion on how the theme song to “Pam The Overly-Confident Morbidly Obese Woman” is too catchy for its own good. Different strokes.