We all know lots of trivia about Mike Bloomberg at this point. Nobody will be surprised to learn that he’s responsible for giving the world the racist stop and frisk policy, that he can’t stop getting in trouble for acting like real piece of shit to the women who work for him, that he likes to hang out with Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, that he makes transphobic comments, and that he’s undermining any lingering hope for the democratic process by buying his way into an election with help from the brain geniuses who marketed Fyre Fest and any social media influencers in need of some fast cash.
Somehow, despite the ever-deepening scum mine that is the former Mayor’s history, there are always more unexpected Bloomberg facts to find. Like, for instance, the one where it turns out you can trace a direct line from the man himself through to horse romance novels and books about Bionicles.
This information comes from @BoltGSR, thanks to a tweet displaying the link between Bloomberg and books written about the most extreme Lego figures ever created. To get to this place, we have to start with Bloomberg’s daughter Georgina, who, when not being described in enormously creepy terms and sent out on dates by her dad, rides horses and owns an equestrian team. Between 2011 and 2013, Georgina channeled her expertise into four young adult romance novels about the horse jumping world. All of these, from The A Circuit through to Rein It In, were co-authored by a writer named Catherine Hapka.
@BoltGSR clarifies that the “forbidden knowledge” shared in the tweet is not meant to dunk on Hapka who, of course, is just doing her job. That message also correctly states that no self-respecting plastic action hero would come out in support of Bloomberg’s campaign, and links to a well-made image from Josiah Moore demonstrating the Bionicles’ official endorsement of Sanders.
While we don’t expect Bloomberg’s campaign to officially acknowledge these shocking, horse and robot-related revelations, it’s impossible to discount his campaign’s ongoing social media strategy, which may yet find a way to turn all of this into yet another super-embarrassing series of tweets.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com