You might be asking yourself, why exactly does America need another reality competition seeking its next top model when Tyra Banks and her bumbling brigade of Fierceness continue to trounce across our television sets every few months or so, and then ad nauseum whenever VH1 runs out of washed-up TV stars to follow around? I can answer that question in two words, my friends.
Male models.
Nine seasons–shit, cycles, I mean cycles!–in, Top Model is pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of interesting "characters." Though to be fair, there are only so many obscure diseases to go around. But take even the most tiresome quirk–a propensity toward tuxedo shirts, being a "professional skimboarder"–and slap it atop a six-pack and a man-pout and ta-da! Instant intrigue. And by intrigue I mean comedy.
Make Me A Supermodel essentially throws Bravo's pseudo-sophisticated sheen atop Top Model's basic premise, and then mixes in 50 percent more penis and a dash of viewer participation, asking the audience to choose between seven female and seven male models whom they want to be a "supermodel," which as we all know by this point means precisely shit. (Where are you CariDee? Naima? How's life as a Brady treating you Adrianne?) Tonight's casting special didn't reveal much in the way of how challenges and voting will work–that will come with next week's official premiere–but it did begin to set the tone for the rest of the series.
While Supermodel spouts a lot of the same "modeling is hard work" and "this is my DREAM you guys, for reals!" claptrap as Top Model, it so far lacks the tiresome (or should I say TYRA-some, BAM!) "inspirational" bent that makes that show so unbearable at times. No one involved in Supermodel, including hosts Tyson Beckford and Niki Taylor, has yet indicated that they believe this competition to be about anything other than who is the best-goddamn-looking. And that's refreshing, as it leaves them free to poke and prod a lineup of models like they were so much state-fair livestock without having to couch it in any "but you're beautiful on the inside" horsepucky.
With only a casting special to go on, not many faces stand out just yet (always a good sign when you're essentially auditioning to become a human billboard). The male models are pretty collectively enjoyable, if only because men tossing their hair and saying things like "every time I walk by my reflection, I'm thinking of poses," will always be entertaining forever and ever, but with the exception of early favorite Jacki and Hair Bob, a.k.a. Holly, the female faces are a big white blur (and I mean white… despite that girl who said "ethnicity is hot," I'm not seeing a whole lotta melanin in this cast). Two of the final 14, Ben and Angelica, were "saved" by online voters, and I think they got it right with mush-mouth Ben, whose deer-in-headlights terror (despite the fact that he works in a jail) is endearing, though I can't imagine him adding much drama-wise, which means he probably won't last.