Man, who hath conquered the steed and harnessed fire to curse the darkness, will make Rollercoaster Tycoon into a movie
Oh the indomitable hubris of man—of the blacksmith who bends iron to fire, of the bricklayer who stacks mortar to stone, and by the unyielding force of his will, so shapes the world. His primal fearlessness abides in the ironclad livers of the modern film producer who, sounding his barbaric yawp across the rooftops of the studio, cries out, “I will take the strategy video game Rollercoaster Tycoon and, by the sweat of my brow, create narrative where none existed before!” Make no mistake—his is a craggy path, beset on all sides by the hissing of craven doubters who say, “But the whole point of that game is to create a whole bunch of fucked-up loops to make the little people vomit, then leave a piece of track missing so they end up careening to a fiery death—how do you make a film out of that?”