Billboard reports that Mariah Carey’s inescapable holiday classic “All I Want For Christmas Is You” has reached another milestone on its slow rise to total Yuletide domination, cracking the Top 10 of the publication’s Hot 100 chart for the first time in its 20-plus-year history. The song—so ubiquitous that people don’t even bother trying to do those “avoid this holiday hit” challenges with it, lest the entire population be eliminated the moment they come within 100 feet of a mall—finally cracked the chart this week.
Carey reportedly still makes a hefty holiday profit from the song, which she released in 1994 on her first Christmas album, Merry Christmas. People—perhaps ever so slightly over the song’s 23-year reign of cheerful musical melancholy—who were hoping that it might finally be relenting are out of luck, obviously; this latest success is just proof that “All I Want For Christmas Is You” will presumably persist long after Christmas, humanity, and “want” are all just obscure memories in our robot children’s minds.
