The saga of McDonald’s All-Day Breakfast Menu has been fraught as of late, but we’re not sure if this makes a good or bad case for its generalized return: Back in February, a man in Yate, England, robbed a local McDonald’s at gunpoint, making off with around £600 (around $830 USD) and some food, albeit not the meal he wanted. While using a fake firearm—apparently an unloaded .117 air pistol—he was enough of a threat to force open up the fast food restaurant’s safes. But it wasn’t enough to break menu scheduling protocol: despite demanding chicken nuggets, the robbery occurred too early in the day to allow a lunch order.
After being “told they were only serving breakfast,” Rudi Batten (a British hoodlum name if there ever was one) was forced to settle for a double sausage McMuffin. We assume they were sold out of McGriddles at the time. Batten robbed a Miss Millie’s the night before (in this case, successfully making off with fried chicken), but was caught on McDonald’s CCTV with only a COVID-19 mask covering his face, prompting him to turn himself in to authorities not long afterwards.
Batten claimed during his trial that he was desperate to pay back a drug debt, with his attorney stating the accused was “utterly ashamed and embarrassed” by his actions. Late last month, a U.K. judge sentenced Batten to six years in prison, which is somewhat of a bummer note to end a news piece, so let’s conclude with a much more enjoyable McDonald’s-related recidivist: Paul Rudd.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com