There’s something profoundly irritating about really good movie casting, the kind that can happen when a perfectly called shot tips a film—Camila Cabello’s upcoming Cinderella, for instance—from “Why the fuck are they making another goddamned Cinderella movie?” to “Welp, guess we’re going to go see another goddamned Cinderella movie.” Casting, like, say, bringing in Missy Elliott to play a hopefully-more-prominent-than-it-sounds role like “Town Crier,” or general all-purpose delight John Mulaney as one of the mice-turned footmen that’ll get Cabello’s magic-assisted shoe-loser to the big and fancy ball.
This is all per Deadline, which also notes that Minnie Driver—and hey, who doesn’t like Minnie Driver?—is also going to play the prince’s mom, Queen Beatrice, which seems like a part she could, irritatingly, absolutely nail. She joins a cast that includes Pierce Brosnan, Billy Porter, Idina Menzel, Nicholas Galitzine, Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer, and fuck, we forgot Billy Porter was going to play the Fairy Godmother in this. God damn it!
Also officially joining the cast: James Corden (who’s responsible for this whole annoying nightmare, having produced the whole damn project into existence), who’ll play another mousefootman. Meanwhile, the third member of the assisting trio will be played by British comedian Romesh Ranganathan—and this one is just cruel, because we’ve just been getting into the absolutely delightful British panel show Taskmaster, and Ranganathan is one of the best parts of that show’s first season. Shit! At this rate, we’ll be watching so many isolated YouTube clips of this stupid thing that we might as well just give in and watch it in full.
Kay Cannon (who also did the excellent Blockers, so hey, thanks for that) will direct the film, which is set to release next February—giving us so little time to get our affairs in order that it basically just seems heartless. Thanks a lot, cinema.