Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Naked sunbathers flee deer, get lost in the woods, then get fined for breaking lockdown

Who knew that deer take public health so seriously?

Dramatic recreation of a deer being told what his pals in Australia are getting up to.
Dramatic recreation of a deer being told what his pals in Australia are getting up to.
Photo: Jean-Christophe Verhaegen (Getty Images)

Here’s a bunch of words that somehow go together: Two men near Sydney, Australia have been fined for breaking lockdown after getting lost in the bush because they got freaked out by a deer while sunbathing nude.

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Last weekend, The Guardian reports, a 30-year-old and 49-year-old man went missing after they ignored local COVID restrictions and decided to strip down for a bit of sunbathing. “It is unclear how the deer startled the men, and what made them dash into the bush to escape it,” the article says, but, all the same, the nudists got lost and were later found by a New South Wales police helicopter wandering in a national park outside of Sydney. The younger man was “naked and carrying a backpack” when he was found while the older “was ‘partially clothed.’”

Both of the men, presumably clothed by this point, “were fined $1,000 for breaching public health orders” during an outbreak of the Delta variant of COVID-19 that has put the region under lockdown. Hopefully, despite their bad luck, these men will take a lesson from all of this, vow never to break quarantine to tan their exposed genitals again, and let the rest of the country know exactly what kind of terrifying beach deer to be on the lookout for in future.

As a nice coda to this story, the tale of the deer-frightened nudists wrapped up in perfectly predictable fashion. We mean, of course, that a press conference that saw New South Wales’ police commissioner Mick Fuller refer to the situation by saying it’s “difficult to legislate against idiots.” He was also interrupted by a guy who wanted to ask Fuller if he’d received “my notice of cease and desist” issued by him, the “prime creator of this Earth.”

[via Boing Boing]

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