Andrew Christensen has looked at the social, political, and economic landscape of 2020 and decided that now is the right time for him to advocate for an issue near and dear to his heart: Our worryingly widespread acceptance of the term, “boneless chicken wings.”
A video shows Christensen at a city council meeting in Lincoln, Nebraska, where he’s come before local government to argue his case. He tells the council that he’s identified a serious problem and proposes that “we as a city remove the name ‘boneless wings’ from our menus and from our hearts.” There’s a loud murmur in the room, but he presses on, asking for his time to be respected while he outlines his objections.
“Nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken,” he says before adding that “boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless” and that the world’s children are being raised not to accept the important fact that meat “grows on bones.”
The entire time he presents his viewpoint, a woman behind him laughs. Still, he perseveres, suggesting that Lincoln renames boneless chicken wings “Buffalo-style chicken tenders,” “wet tenders,” “saucy nugs,” or “trash.” In a surprising last-minute twist, a councilman says, “For the record, that’s my son” just before the video ends.
Whether this familial advantage will help push through his proposal or not, Christensen is carrying on the proud tradition of using city council meetings to advance highly specific agendas of the kind that only a local government could ever give a shit about. If boneless chicken wings are to be renamed, maybe Lincoln, Nebraska will be at the forefront of the movement and everyone, even the people laughing at Christensen’s speech, will see the city as the spark that lit an international fire.
