There’s a lot to gripe about in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but what tends to get the most scorn also crystallizes everything wrong with that movie: its needle drops. It’s not just that the first animated Mario movie underuses the deepest bench of iconic music found in any game series, but that the pop songs it goes with instead—”Take On Me,” “Holding Out For A Hero,” “Mr. Blue Sky”—are cinematic cliches. You’d expect a training montage set to Bonnie Tyler in a movie by Minions studio Illumination, but not in one that has the charm, warmth, and inventiveness Nintendo is known for. And that’s the fundamental flaw with both The Super Mario Bros. Movie and its new sequel: They are profoundly un-Nintendo-like, both in comparison to Nintendo’s own work and the work outside companies have done for Nintendo, making unnecessary and insulting concessions that Nintendo-related projects rarely stoop to.
The quality that makes Nintendo Nintendo is hard to put a finger on. It’s one of those “know it when you see it” (or, in this case, play it) type of deals. For over 40 years, its best games have been defined by a combination of playfulness, smoothness, and uniqueness unmatched in the medium—the sense that every decision is targeted directly at maximizing the player’s delight, aligned with a desire to make sure every major game, even in a series as long in the tooth as Super Mario, offers something new instead of simply rehashing what worked before. It’s not some kind of magic trick: It’s the result of rigorous refinement by Nintendo’s development studios, a steadfast commitment to not shipping a game until it looks and feels just right.
Look at the mainline Legend Of Zelda games. Although certain themes and mechanics recur, every major Zelda game introduces at least one significant core concept that’s new to the series. The same is true with all the Super Mario platformers that have followed in the wake of the original 1985 game, including 2007’s Super Mario Galaxy, the new movie’s namesake. Even when Nintendo has released two Zeldas or Super Marios in the same console generation, it’s gone to pains to distinguish them in some fundamental way, from the darker tone and recurring timeline that set Majora’s Mask apart from Ocarina Of Time, to the new power-ups and shifting environments of Super Mario Galaxy 2. Despite pumping out sequel after sequel for 40 years, Nintendo rarely repeats itself when it comes to its marquee titles.
How can you square that with the lazy, focus-tested familiarity of The Super Mario Bros. Movie? Nintendo is restless with its games, while Illumination is as responsible for the generic, crowd-pleasing soullessness of modern animation as anybody. Any random animated character could replace this bland take on Mario (voiced with little personality by a replacement-level Chris Pratt) as he gets in shape to “Holding Out For A Hero”—a Minion, the German pig from Sing (who’s “funny” because he’s “fat”), whichever interchangeable Secret Life Of Pets animal is voiced by whatever stand-up comedian hasn’t been cancelled yet—without changing anything about that scene. Nintendo’s approach to its games is antithetical to how Hollywood’s animation studios work, and sadly when the two go head-to-head it’s Illumination that wins out.
Nintendo fans had reason to expect that wouldn’t happen, because Nintendo typically maintains a lot of oversight when other companies use its characters. The company has hired outside studios to make many games featuring characters from Mario, Zelda, and other in-house series; the results aren’t always up to Nintendo’s level, but they still usually preserve that intangible Nintendo quality. And Nintendo’s most visible partnerships with companies outside of video games—those amazing LEGO sets, Universal’s transcendent Mario-based theme park lands—maintain Nintendo’s high standards while translating them into different mediums. These are all collaborations where Nintendo’s influence is deeply felt, and that’s why even the biggest critic of Illumination and Western animation studios had reason to think the Super Mario movies would have some of that Nintendo charm.
Instead, they have celebrity voice actors cast for their fame and not for how well they suit their characters. They have Easter egg references in place of a story, and cameos that exist solely to set up future sequels. They have a Mario Kart scene soundtracked by AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck”—a song used in The Fall Guy, Deadpool 2, Iron Man 2 ads, and the trailer for Illumination’s own Despicable Me 4, just one year after The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The only version of “Nintendo charm” that Illumination’s movies bear is the same found in those terrible ’80s shows based on Mario and Zelda—the kinds of failures that likely inspired Nintendo to be so hands-on with its characters moving forward. This type of uninspired IP slop is what you expect from Fortnite or bad Smash Bros. knockoffs—instead of the the inspired IP slop Nintendo serves up with Smash Bros. itself.
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