Now that we've dispensed with international unity: RuPaul!
TOP PICK
RuPaul’s Drag Race (LOGO, 8 p.m.): The Sochi Games have finally come to a close—and every network that isn’t NBC could not be happier. There’s a full slate of programming on tonight and for the rest of the week. We hope you enjoyed two weeks catching up on TV, because with the hint of spring around the corner and the end of the television season lurking just beyond that, the prestige dramas are rolling out and there are new episodes and returning shows everywhere. Scared? Confused? Lost? Don’t worry. Because tonight, there is just one thing you must watch. RuPaul’s Drag Race returns tonight, to embrace you with glitter, eyeshadow, and affectionate bitching. There’s no better way to celebrate the end of two weeks of athleticism in a country that has made homosexuality illegal than watching 14 drag queens duke it out for the title of America’s Next Drag Superstar, right? Oliver Sava is covering the show for us as usual. Break out your best lip-syncing sweatpants.
ALSO NOTED
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.): It’s the morning of his wedding, and Barney Stinson has a hangover. Only the Stinson Hangover-Fixer Elixir can save him! As the gang works to put together its weird ingredients, Donna Bowman politely asks if the SHFE will be on sale at a store near her anytime soon. For reasons.
Archer (FX, 10 p.m.): Malory takes the team on a road trip, and we take a sigh of relief, because three weeks without Archer was just way too many weeks. Todd VanDerWerff is on call tonight to answer any and all of your questions about road trips fueled by cocaine and diner food.
The Blacklist (NBC, 10 p.m.): This show took a long winter break, but it, too, is finally back, as you probably noticed by the countless NBC spots for it during the Olympics. We confess that we have no idea what show they have been watching, because those spots did not look anything like the slightly tired procedural Phil Dyess-Nugent had been watching. We’re not covering this drama anymore, because we couldn’t quite find a reason to liveblog James Spader’s millinery choices. But it’s worth keeping an eye on.
REGULAR COVERAGE
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.)
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.)
Almost Human (Fox, 8 p.m.)
The Following (Fox, 9 p.m.)
Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.)
Teen Wolf (MTV, 10 p.m.)
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
It’s a full slate today for television coverage. We’ve got two TV Reviews up at midnight, for the second season of FX’s The Americans and the debuting Mind Games. Erik Adams says of The Americans that it’s a little mixed, but still one of the best dramas on television; Todd VanDerWerff writes of the latter that it’s a kind of sweet show about invasive mind control, so that’s something.